


The story behind the curtain

by Haru_Loysingh, Miss_Adler



Category: Real Person Fiction, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, NSFW, Outdoor Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, RPF, RPS - Freeform, Rain Sex, Real person story, Rimming, Sleepy Sex, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, a bit angst, aaaand a lot more stuff - we're currently writing on, heavy bondage (?), omg what have we done, real person fic, stahp it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2017-12-23 10:01:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 41,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haru_Loysingh/pseuds/Haru_Loysingh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Adler/pseuds/Miss_Adler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It really wasn't planned to went this far.<br/>Andrew got his heart broken and shows up at Benedict's.<br/>Benedict - always the helpful soul (ahwwww) takes him in and comforts him.</p>
<p>Yes. Literally.</p>
<p>You should read it! It's really worth it! (and it's got some hot porn in the upcoming chaps !! )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The broken heart

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE: Finally found a lovely person who is betareading this, she can be found here on tumblr: 
> 
> http://diogenist.tumblr.com/
> 
> <3 We are both very happy and hope you enjoy this just as much as we do!
> 
>  
> 
> Girls just wanna have fun... and some hot fanfiction about two hot british/irish actors? ^_^ 
> 
> (we wrote this seperately. It's taking turns in writing ^^ My parts are normal, Haru's parts are Italic)
> 
> Another Warning: YES, we know there are LOOOOTS of Typos and grammar mistakes probably. We write this story really fast and there´s still over 100 pages to upload.

**London, August 2013**

 

_> Hi Benedict. It´s me, your mortal enemy. Got some spare time? Need some advice and can´t get Mark on the Phone. Call me. Andrew.<_

 

>Hi Andrew, nice to get a message from you. I'm afraid I'm not having any freetime right now. Busy filming. But I'm in London and if you'd like we can meet later? We're filming the whole day but I think we're through by 8 PM. How about nine? Would you like to come around? Greetings, Benedict.<

_> Dinner then?<_

_Andrew puts down the phone and stares out of the window for a while. He sort of missed filming with the boys. And now, he feels like he needs Ben's cheerful character more than ever._

 

<Sure. You know where I'm living? If not, we can meet in the Hyde Park and walk the last bit.<

Ben smiles and puts his phone into one of his pockets again, the break was through now, and he needs to get back into character. 

 

_At dawn Andrew waits around Speaker's Corner for Benedict. His hands digged into the pockets of his black jeans, his white linen shirt half loose. He wants to reach out into his backpack for a drink, but then he sees Benedict jogging over. Shyly he lifts a hand and smiles at him. "Hi."_

 

Ben tries to get some air into his lungs when he finally stands in front of Andrew. He bows his back and laughs. "Hey! Sorry I´m late. Got caught into a chat with some fans of Sherlock." 

 

_"Neat." Andrew smiles, awkwardly pulling Ben into a hug. "I miss- I mean, it's been a while. Should we go?" He gestures towards the park. After some steps he can't keep it any longer. Digging his fists back into the pockets of his pants he says "Steven left me."_

 

Benedict stops his walk and looks at Andrew with a shocked expression visible on his face. Andrew stops walking as well, but he doesn't turn around to look at him. 

"You're kidding me. When we met the last time, after we finished the last 'Reichenbach' shoot, you brought him to our dinner meeting. I thought.." he takes a step forwards to see that Andrew wears some kind of an unreachable facial expression "..later at the bar you told me, that he proposed to you." 

 

_"He did." Andrew admits silently. "And yesterday...I..." he looks up, deep pain in his eyes. "I can't go home. I have been up and about since our quarrel and.. I ..." he shrugs and looks a bit like a lost boy now_  
 _"I never thought we would break up. We've been together for 10 years!"_

 

Ben looks around, there are just a few people around them, but he would prefer to continue this conversation in his own four walls. 

"Let's walk on, my flat is really nearby. Just follow me." He touches Andrews shoulder lightly and shows him an encouraging smile. "Come on. We need to talk about that, but not where everyone could listen to us." Benedict takes a few steps, waiting for Andrew to follow after him. 

 

_Andrew nods and hurries after Ben. "Thanks. You know, I wanted to ask Mark & Ian but I couldn't get him on the phone and well, we did have some quite good talks when you broke up with Olivia."_

 

Ben smirks when Andrew comes up with his Ex-girlfriend. It had been a while since he last thought about her. A while, yes. They have had a wonderful time. 

"It's fine, Andrew. I'm very sorry about the circumstances, but I was looking forward to see you again as well." They finally reach his flat in a 15 minutes walk and he lets them in. "You can get rid of your jacket and place it there, fetch yourself some slippers and get comfortable in the living room. l'll get us something to drink." He smiles and undresses his jacket as well, heading for the kitchen.

 

_Andrew nodded and slipped out of his shoes and jacket. He sits down on the couch and searches his backpack for his mobile, quickly looking through any new messages but there was nothing. "Thanks Ben, I know I should have ring you up earlier, but you two were busy doing Hobbit and Star Trek and all that."_  
 _He leans back and looks around a bit. "Nice home. Heard you´re dating a russian model now, eh?"_

 

The kitchen was next to the living room, so Ben could talk to Andrew while he fetches everything for them. "She's busy at the moment. But a sweetheart though. But we're not dating anymore. We decided to... let it calm down a bit. Well, mostly it was my decision - so coffee, first? Or are you okay with a wine?" He leans back and throws a gaze at Andrew who sists on his couch, his shoulder hanging low and such a sad expression on his face. They would hate to talk properly, he doesn't know if he can help him but they could at least talk.

 

_"Anything with alcohol in it would be nice", AndRew says, looking over to Ben with a smile. A smile that didn't reach his eyes._

_When Ben sits down he starts to talk, telling the other about their quabbles over the wedding, on how much Steven hated that Andrew keeps him hidden - even though he had taken him along to the BAFTA ceremony. "He said we need a break and he moved out. He went to his parents in Dubling and I dunno... I can´t go into the house when it´s so empty." Andrew finishes his fifth glas of wine._

 

Benedict listens to Andrew´s talk, not interrupting him of course. He knows that Andrew needs to spill it all out. HIs feelings and the fears and he nods when Andrew ends his explanation. He tells him about Olivia. They met before he got famous and she had always supported him, even when he had no time to meet her beucase he had filming sessions. But they became strangers and Olivia wanted to talk to him somewhen during the Sherlock filmings and they decided that it would be better to go their own ways - alone. 

And then she was gone and he had to learn that sometimes alone was hard and it hurt a lot.  
Ben looks down to the ground, holding his glass of wine still to think about what to say next. He felt a bit dizzy and warm so he opens a button of his shirt.  
"I´m fine now, I guess. But she was special. That´s why I decided not to play too serious now. ANdrew, I know this is hard to belive right now but you´ll be fine someday. Maybe not tomorrow maybe not next week but you´re a clever and amazing man with a wonderful personality. I`m sure that you´ll fine the one person someday."  He remains silent and throw a sidegaze to Andrew, and tries a supporting smile. 

 

_Andrew smils back, honestly now. "Thanks Bet. It´s just hard to see that now." He finishes his next glas, the wine slowly getting to him. "Sorry to bother you with my business." He smiles. There was silence agian and Andrew silently sudies Ben´s frame. "Mind if I ask if you had ever...been curious about - well, you know" He gestured at himself. "Being like me or Mark?"_

 

Ben turns to Andrew fully now, taking a good sip of his wine before he answered his question. "No, never. I have a very good friend who is now marries to a man as well. I guess my mom had done a great job with my tolerance. I know it´s late but if you don´t mine I´ll go and get us a new bottle?" 

 

_"Would be nice. Thanks." He leans back. "It´s nice that you´re so accepting. It´s just the same actually - just that it´s impossible for some people to understand. We have the same love, the same fights. As you can see." He sighs._

_"Thanks", he smiles when Ben refilled his glas. "Really? Not just once?" He asked again, his voice filled with a childish curiosity. "ANd here I thought every boy goes thought this curiosity phase. Well I guess it is just me then."_

 

Ben smiled at Andrw´s impatience and he lets out a little laugh. "Well then, I ´m sure you can keep that a secret, so... yes, I´ve tried it once. And actually it´s not that long ago." He bites his lower lip. "Question answered then`How about a beer? I have a really good one from a peasant that lives near my parents. It´s delicious." He returns to Andrew with a six pack of Beer, self celtered. "Are you alright. What´s that weird smile´s meaning?" 

 

_"Just a little drunk already. Haven´t drunk for a while, I had this - well, anyway, thanks for being so honest. I guess I should be fully honest then as well. It wasn´t just a ...quabble. I fucked it up. That´s it. When...Steven and I moved here some years ago we had some slight differences. And, well I stepped out of line. I tried out stuff and somehow I ended up with that woman." He sighs and reaches for a second beer, drowning it quickly. "Well and now she called, telling me there´s this little girl..." He sighs again. "Steven was furious... not about me fucking someone else but for not taking care..."_

 

Ben´s mouth opens when he tried to say something but no words came out. Then finally: "I...oh Andrew! This is..amazing! You´re a father!" The alcohol was working for him as well so he pulls Andrew in for a firm and long hug. "Of course it´s not ok to cheat on your partner. But I guess you know that. But ...oh Andrew you´re a father!"  
He points the last word, still holding Andrew in his close hug. "Everything will be alright. When Steven understands your true feelings and..I`m sure you´re a wonderful father as well." Ben holds Andrew by his shoulders and looks at him with a wide and honest smile, his eyes sparkling with joy.

 

_Andrew laughed faintly, surprised almost shocked at the sudded outburst and hugs of his friend. "Th- Thanks. Yes, I guess it means I am. But how should I know she´s mine? And well, she wants me to meet her." He feels to overwhelmed with the facts. "I wish it would be yours. You know how to handle kids. You want some! I am gay. Steven and I never thought about becoming fathers, even though I know there are ways." he says desperately, clinging to Benedict._

 

Benedict continues his laughter and pulls Andrew again to his chest. "Oh Andrew, don´t worry. You´ll be fine. You have a good taste of humour and I´m not a father, you know. I´m just a godfather and I´m proud of him. You´ll see and you´ll love your kid when it first looks into your eyes." He holds his face between his hands now, just a light touch to show him that he was convinced all would be fine. But they were close and he could even feel Andrew´s breath on his face. 

 

_Andrew smiles, his eyes shining a bit. "Thanks." he whispers, his lips brushing over so slightly over Benedict´s. "Can you come with me to meet her?" he ads, bringing them to an even smaller distance. "Please?" now his lips fully brush over the other's._

 

His lips feel so soft and he images to taste the alcohol already. He breathes out and answers the question. "Of course I will. If you want me to I will be there if you need me. Now and of course in the future- if you wish so." He closes the distance fully, placing a hand on the other´s neck, caressing it lightly and tastes his lips, taking a little nips of them and moving them slowly when his eyes flutter shut and he sinks into the kiss that gets more passionate from second to second.

 

_Andrews eyes flutter shurt, one of his hands digging into the black curls of Ben. His tongue dartes out and dipped against Bens lips and when he parts them into his mouth, exploring. "Thank you...thank you...thank you...." he breathes into him, pulling him closer and into another embrace._

 

Instead of an answer Ben touches Andrew´s tongue with his, playfully swirling it around before he pulls back a bit to continue kissing Andrews sweet lips with passion. He moves his hands from Andrews neck to his face and strokes his cheeks softly. He openes his eyes and realizes what he is just doing there. He moves back and looks into his eyes, which are half closed and his cheeks are already flushing. Pulling his hands away he whispers: "I´m sorry, I just... I don´t want to take advantage of you." he pulls Andrew in a hug again and strokes his hair. 

 

_Andrew gasps for air, nuzzling Ben´s face with his nose and lips before buring his face in the other´s chest, inhaling this deep, masculine scent that had somehow attracted him to Ben from the first time they had med._  
 _"No, it´s okay but I shouldn´t do that with you. I mean, you´re into women and probably all disgusted now." he laughs bitterly, bringing some distance between them. "I´m sorry. He says again, running a hand through his messy hair. "I know you´re tolerant and accepting and all that but I can´t just kiss you!" his smile and the glimmer in his eyes faded. "Anyway, thanks Ben for helping me out. You think you could come along this weekend then?"_

 

Ben sits up, touching Andrews hand and squeezes it before he pulls back fully. "It´s all fine. Like I said before, it´s not my first try and you´re a wonderful person. I guess it´s not important if someone´s a man or a woman." he smiles at him and touches his beer. "Next weekend then. Of course I´ll come with you. Cheers for a nice evening first though!" 

 

 

 

....to be continued.....

 

 

 

 


	2. Lucy

 

 _Andrew stays in Benedict´s apartment for some days while the other is  in Cardiff filming Season Three of Sherlock. On saturday morning he drives home to get some new clothes – he had used Ben's in the meantime – and then waits for Ben to pick him up._  
 _“I´m nervous”, he laughs. “What if she hates me?”_  
  
Ben smiles a mysterious smile, eyes on the street. “She won´t hate you. Just try not to be tense and just be yourself. It´s the next street and the second house?”  
  
 _“Yes, we´ll meet in a café, she said.” When they enter Andrew lowers his sunglasses, looking around. “I can´t even remember how she looked like. It was just a drunk night.”_  
 _His gaze though falls quickly on a little girl, black curls and small features. She must be around five, sitting at a table alone, dangling her feet._  
  
Ben could feel Andrew tense up next to him and follows his gaze to the girl, the smile reappearing. “Well, it´s quiet possible that´s her. She has your hair and as well as I can see from here she´s got your eyes as well. She won´t be here on her own.” He walks around to stand next to Andrew for this would maybe calm him down a bit. “Everything´s just fine. Ease up.”  
  
 _“Could you ease up when there´s someone calling and now you´re about to meet a little human who´s a part of you and yet you didn´t even know of her existence until some days ago?”_  
 _The little girl sees them approaching and waves, her smile a perfect copy of Andrew´s. No mistake in the parenthood on that side._  
 _“You must be Andrew and you´re his – how did mom say? - his damned idiot of a manlover. I´m Lucy and my mom said I should wait here until you come and pick me up!”_  
 _Andrew takes in a deep breath and looks at Ben for help. WTH?_  
  
Ben shoots Andrew a look and kneels in front of the child. “Hello young Lady. You´re absolutely right but I´m not an idiotic manlover. That´s a rather rude term your mom shouldn´t use. I´m a friend of Andrew. My name is Ben. It´s nice to meet you, Lucy.” He offers her a hand and pokes Andrew in the side, just for him to recognize.  
  
 _“Hi there.” Andrew spills out, obviously nervous. Why now? He was barely never THAT nervous. He smiles at her and shakes her hand. “Did your mother just leave you here?”_  
 _“Hi Ben, Hi Andrew. My mom said I will stay with you from now on. She left and that´s my bunny and my suitcase!” She points at a pink suitcase and plushed bear. Definitely not a bunny._  
  
Ben looks at Andrew, they both need to let some time pass by to understand what that information means for them.  
Andrew is obviously shocked so Ben decides he would help him. “Lucy, do you know where your mom wanted to go to? She´s not gone forever, you gonna see her again. And your Teddy. But first we can drink a juice at my place, how does that sound to you?” He offers Lucy a hand and pokes Andrew who still stays there, gaping at the little girl. “We´ll find out where she is, just calm down.- Don´t panic. It´s the last thing that she needs now.” he whispers to him.  
  
 _Now this is seriously not good. They can´t just leave with a child. He could already see tomorrow´s newspaper´s highlights. >Benedict Cumberbatch & Andrew Scott abduct a child from street café< No way. “We can´t just leave here like this.” he spills out, looking around._  
  
“When we´re back at my place you´ll call the police. She can´t let her just sit here with nothing but a suitcase and her Teddy. Can you imagine what could have happened to her?” Ben´s voice is full of anger but he speaks only for Andrew to hear. He still doesn´t want Lucy to hear what they talk about. Holding a hand out to her he smiles. “What do you say, Miss Lucy? Should I Help you with that pretty suitcase?”  
  
 _“Yes! Thank you! Oh and Mr. Benedict. It´s a bunny. Not a teddy. He just lost his ears.” The girl jumps off her seat and grabs Andrew´s hand, making him look down at her a bit surprised. “Sure, he´ll remember that.” he says, smiling down at her. All those feelings that came with that strange connection confuse him, and yet...it was weird to think about._  
  
Ben looks down to the girl and smiles. “I`m sorry dear Bunny. I should have watched out. Of course you´re a bunny and a veeery beautiful one. Are you a boy or a girl?”  
Ben´s smile grows wider when Lucy reaches out for Andrew´s hand and his smile when she touches it. Of course he needs to get used t o this ´being-a-father-thing´.  
  
 _“I´m a girl and my name it Mr. Buggles!” the girl says in a high pitched voice, nodding the bear´s head. Just then a woman comes out of the café and the girl´s eyes light up, running over to her. “Mommy!”_  
  
Benedict takes a closer look at the woman. She is in her thirties and rather good looking. She would have drawn his attention too.  
Lucy runs over to her and cuddles her until the woman gently pulls her off. With an apologizing look she looks at them. “Hi Andrew. It´s been a while”  
  
 _“Gillian. Yeah.” Andrew says, his voice cold. “What´s all this about? How can you just leave her like this, telling her to go with a man who´s a total stranger to her? Does she even know I´m her...her..”_  
  
Gillian sighs. “I´m sorry. I was in the restrooms. Did Lucy make up a story again? Her imagination drives me up the wall sometimes.” She offers them a helpless smile.  
“Of course I know you´re my daddy. Mom told me everything about you and your”, the girl giggles and looks at Ben. “lover boy.”  
Ben looks at the child, smiling weirdly. Then he turns his gaze to Gillian and straightens his back, offering her a hand. “Hi Gillian. I´m Ben. Nice to meed you. But I´d have prefered to do so with different circumstances.”  
  
 _Was he seriously flirting with her? Andrew takes a deep breath and bites his lip. He doesn´t know if he feels the urge to hit him or laugh at the absurdness of the situation._  
 _Gillian looks at him. “Can we talk in private?”_  
 _Andrew just  shakes his head. “Ben can hear anything you have to say to me.” he hopes that was okay for Benedict but he wanted another pair of ears around._  
  
Ben shoots Andrew a look, sends him a smirk that would make all of his fangirls die immediately and brushes his hand over Andrew´s arm. That is enough to convince Gillian of their actually non existent relationship.  
Lucy is happily walking around with her little “Bunny” and not interested in grown-up talks as well so they could talk properly. They decide to sit down and drink a coffee to talk about everything. Ben  sits back and musters Gillian, still a bit alarmed but he would stay to help Andrew through this. The last days were good for him. He enjoys the company as well as their conversations. They have no such a long lasting friendship like he had with Paul for example but he would name him a friend and as well as he could say Andrew would say the same. Plus there was this....kiss-thing...  
  
 _Andrew boldly takes Ben´s hand while they sit next ot each other. He ignores the fact that people from the street might see them. Hot topic! <Benedict Cumberbatch and Andrew Scott Dating??> _  
_“Why, out of all, now? I mean why didn´t you tell me 6 years ago when you realized you were pregnant? Is it because of Money? No offense but I won´t pay unless I know for sure she´s my own blood.” Well, one look is enough there but still._  
  
Ben squeezes Andrew´s hand as a sign for him that he gets a bit too loud. Gillian had a hurt look on her face and people are starting to eavesdrop. He looks directly at the woman. “Andrew´s right. Even if Lucy is his daughter why not tell him earlier, let´s say...when she was born? Every father has the right to see his child. Andrew has lost important years!”  
  
 _Plus the fact that I have lost my partner due to this sudden revelation, Andrew thought._  
 _“Why do you come to me now?” he asks again._  
 _Gillian sighs and looks over to her. “I wanted to tell you all the time. I found someone else shortly after ...well, that night and we married and for quiete a while I thought she was his´. But as she grew up, well, look at her. And her imagination.... she makes up stories, it´s incredible. After me and my husband broke up I was scared to come out to you. I didn´t and I still don´t want your money. We get by very good. We didn´t want to be a burden either but as Lucy grows up more and more she keeps asking questions and well, I just wanted to stop making up stories for her as well.”_  
  
“So what is it exactly that you want Andrew to do?” Ben asks with a calm voice. Lucy came over and climbs on his lap. “You don´t look that awful. Mom told me you´d look awful. But I think you´re nice and ok looking.”  
“Luc! I never said something like this!” Gillian hurried to say, making Ben chuckle and stroke over the girl´s hair, before he looks back at Gillian. “So?”  
“Nothing. He can decide on his own. If he wants to see Lucy he can whenever he wants to. If not, that´s okay. I just wanted to clean my conscience and let him know.”  
Ben looks at Andrew and he can see it all written on his face. The caring and curiosity, even a bit of fatherly love. He smilese but remains silent.  
  
 _Andrew´s mind is racing. There are a few movies he was offered, a TV Series and some plays he is interested in but he would stay in London for all of that. “Maybe...we can meet sometimes. I think that would be nice. Getting to know each other. What do you think, Lucy?” He looks over at her and the girl smiles, climbing from Ben to Andrew and hugs him with her thin arms. “Sure! Mom says you have a really fancy house and Buggles wants to meet Ben again!”_

 


	3. Moving in.

“Look Andrew, I can see that you´re really nervous and I can totally understand you. But it´s like Gillian said: she is a five year old. You´ll do just fine. I will be here to help you and of course you both can stay here during the weekend. Ben looks Andrew directly into his eyes – he really has beautiful ones. It reminds him of the anthracites he saw at a jewellery store yesterday. He leans against the wall, watching Andrew pace up and down his living room.  
  
 _It helped him concentrate, this walking up and down. It would be the first weekend with Lucy staying over. They had occasionally met on some afternoons but now the girl wanted to stay over and Andrew was nervous about it. He had no idea how to handle a child if she started to cry or wanted something he couldn´t give her._  
  
Benedict walks forward to hug Andrew lightly. “I think it would be good for you to see her more regularly. And I´d bet if you talk to Steven properly he will understand your motivation to see her.”  
Ben hesitates for just a moment before he lets go of the smaller man. “You know, I´m busy acting but I´d watch her the best I can. She has taken my heart already.” he laughs and turns to go back to the couch.  
  
 _During the hug Andrew buries his head in Ben´s chest, nuzzling him and enjoyed his smell. A sudden thought of both of them – naked, grinding on bed, kissing, fucking – comes though his mind and he steps away quickly, fighting down the blush._  
 _“Yes, that would be great but ...but I doubt it will work with Steven. He´s rather stubborn.”_  
  
Benedict nods, he understands that, maybe he would act the same if his partner would tell him that he had cheated and as a reason of that became a parent.  
“You should talk to him nevertheless. Meet him together with Lucy. When he sees her he will understand you.” He sipped his coffee and quickly took a look at his watch. It was early noon and he has to be on Set around 9 pm. They are filming in London again now. He wants to drop by Martin and Amanda before going to Set. “Why not call him now?”  
  
 _Andrew sighs and sits down next to Ben, his leg almost touching the other. He pulls out his phone and dials his number, throwing Ben a faint smile. He twitches when someone answers it. “Steven? It´s me, Andy! Listen I know you´re still mad – no. Listen! Please. The child´s really mine and... - Steven? Steven please. Let me explain, okay? She.... She´s five Steven! I really want to see her again and I will see her again and ….please Steven. Let us meet and talk in person. You could meet Lucy, that´s her name and – Steven? Ste-” With a groan Andrew throws his phone on the table. “He hung up on me.”_  
  
Ben doesn´t want to but he has to go in a gew minutes. “Listen, Andrew, I have to go now. I´ll meet with Martin before we´re going to the Set. I bet Steven has to think about what you said to him, just give him some time.” He stands up and walks around, awkwardly standing next to Andrew he decides that he would feel better with a hug. “If you want you can stay here as long as you want.  I´m on my own and always enjoy good company.” He lets go of Andrew. “Think about it. There would be even a room for Lucy to stay in this weekend.”  
Then he smiled and left the flat to meed with his good old Watson.  
  
 _Andrew nodded, feeling nervous all of a sudden when Ben hugged him. He clings to him for a moment his face pressing against the other´s neck. “Thank you Ben, so much. Send my greetings to Martin and Amanda._

~~~

  
“....” Well and as it seems Lucy will stay the weekend with Andrew and – as he stays with me right now – with me as well. She´s an adorable girl. Maybe we all should meet together one day. Lucy could play with your kids.”  Ben sits in a bar near the Set, telling Martin the whole story.  
  
 _Martin chuckles. “And here I thought you would be the next to tell me you´re to become a father. Out of all..I even would have bet on Mark and Ian.”_  
 _Amanda sits down on the chair next to Martin. “And how will it go on now? I mean, Andrew´s so extremely protective about his private life. It will be hard to hide a child – even if he already successfully hid his boyfriend.”_  
  
“I don´t know. I guess he´s a bit overwhelmed still. Lost his boyfriend, has to deal with a daughter he didn´t know he had. I think he needs someone to support him right now.” Ben chats with Amanda and Martin until the filming is over and he can head home. 

~~~

  
 _Andrew looks exhausted and is half asleep when Ben comes home. “Several appointments for new stuff.” He said, pointing at a pile of scrips on the table. “I ordered some Pizza and read the whole evening, I left you some but it´s probably cold now.” He smiles and pats the place next to him. “And here they are: Sherlock Holmes and Jim Moriarty sharing cold pizza and some wine. Fans would be pleased.”_  
  
Ben sits next to him and laughs out. “Oh you´re so right. When I visited Martin a few weeks ago he showed me some really creepy fanficitions and drawn pictures of some Sherlock characters. Did you know that there are words for each couple? Of course most of it is Johnlock. And you and me would be Sheriarty or Jimlock.” Ben thoughts wander back to the crazy weekend in a pools with lots of films, a large bed. He shakes his head, still smiling. “Sorry Andrew. Daydreamt. Can I bring you something to drink? Some more wine to go with the cold pizza?”  
  
 _“Sheriarty hmm? Sounds neat”, Andrew smiles and leans back, arms spread out and he – purely out of habit – starts playing with some of Ben´s dark curls. “Daydreaming about what? Were some of those stories quiet – um – electrifying? Arousing? I bet you liked the ones with Irene Adler and Sherlock.”_  
  
“I´ve not yet read one of those but I could imagine they´re quiet electrifying.” He stiffens just slightly when Andrew starts to play with his hair but finds it rather enjoyable after a while. Andrew seems to come closer to him and finally leans his head against Ben´s shoulder. He decides that he would not pull back, he starts to like the caress and Andrew´s soft fingers. Of course they feel different from Martin´s. He reaches a hand to touch Andrews cheek and strokes it carefully. “You´re looking really tired, you know that? Do you want to go to bed? I´ll sleep here.”  
  
 _Andrew leans into the touch and closes his eyes. “Your bed is rather big, so we could both sleep there. I will stay on my side and keep everything that belongs to me by myself.” he smiles faintly and looks up to Ben. “But sure.” his smile fades just a bit. “I could understand if you don´t want to.” He bites his lip and lowers his gaze, getting up quickly._  
  
Ben opens his mouth to say something like ´We should not´ or ´It would be better if..´ but nothing comes out. A second gaze at Andrew got him thinking of a lost lonely puppy and he couldn´t overcome to let him be like that. “I´m honest. I wouldn´t do so under other circumstances but I think we could both need someone at our side, so it´s okay. I´ll come with you.” With a silent smirk he leaves to head for the bathroom. He got himself washed up and dresses in some sleeping pants. He thinks about adding a Shirt but decides that they are both grown-ups and there would be no need to by shy. When he steps out of the bath Andrew seems to be ready as well.  
  
 _Andrew already sits on the bed, wearing boxers and an old ripped Shirt. He was half asleep already and smiles when Ben enters. “Thanks”, he murmurs sleepdrunken._  
 _It was around 4 am when he wakes with a start, gasping for air. His hands search around him, reaching for the person next to him. When he finds him, his breathing calms down a bit and he rests his head on the naked chest, one hand sleepily playing with the other´s nipple. “Had that dream again”, he whispers. “Sooth me...”_

 

 

~ to be continued.... (oh yes..it´s "starting" now ..muhahahahahaa) 


	4. Sweet dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW anymore until.. now! *celebrate*

It was a very calm and nice dream he is awaken from. He feels a hot twitch in his lower body section and a heavy weight on his chest. Ben always needs some time to wake up but at least the person next to him would know that. He hears some things about bad dreams so he lays an arm around Andrew´s shoulder, pulling him closer. “ ´s alright...you´ll be okay..” he mutters, still half asleep. He slips his hand under the shirt and caresses the other´s back with soft circles of his fingers.

 

_Andrew nuzzles into Ben´s chest, kissing the warm soft skin, the nipples while his hand runs down stroking, caressing the skin and deeper to the rim of Benedict´s pants. He runs his hand over the fabric, feeling the member of the other react to the touch. When he´s fully hard the slips his hand into the pants, wrapping his fingers around him, slighly and lazily pumping. He shifts a bit so his mouth has access to Ben´s neck. His tongue runs over the skin, his teeth nipping and tugging on it._

 

A long and silent moan leaves his lips when he feels a hand on his member that starts to work him up and down. Ben leans into that touch, it feels just so good. But who... He opens his eyes just a bit to see short black hair and Andrew´s small figure. He must have a hot dream, because of the situation a few days ago – their kissing experience. Benedict decides he´s too tired to protest and it feels way too good to stop. ( Here is where he should have known it isn´t just a dream) So he just gives in to the feeling, He had already made his first step with Martin so – why not? He moves his hand that rests on Andrew´s back downwards, stroking over his back. Andrew´s skin is soft and hot under his fingers and he scratches it softly. Ben turns to lie on his side and bring his mouth near Andrew´s ear, breathing into it. He nipples at the earlobe while his hand moves from the back to the front, still scratching what leaves some red stripes now. He shifts a bit and kisses from Andrew´s collarbone over his cheeks to his mouth. There they are again, but now it is all heated up and a dream! He bites on Andrew´s lip and flicks out his tongue to get access. His hand lays on Andrews belly now, running little circles around his navel, brushing over the hairline just to follow it and go deeper and deeper, right under the rim of his boxers. The kisses grow more passionate when he starts to work Andrew´s shaft up and down in firm and slow strokes just as Andrew does to his´.

 

_A deep and long moan leaves Andrew´s mouth and he breathes heavily into Ben´s mouth. Their bodies cling together and with a little help from Ben Andrew slips out of Shirt and Boxers. His half lid eyes room over Ben´s body, tugging on the pants and roughly he pulls them down. Again he sits up to stare down at him, licking his lips slowly, leisurely. He pushes Benedict´s legs apart and slides between them, leaning down to kiss his chest, lick over his tummy and dive into Ben´s navel. His own chest rubs against the other´s dripping erection providing friction. He then licks deeper, kissing around the other´s shaft, balls and then flickers his tongue over the tip. Quickly he turned around taking one of Ben´s hands he presses it against his butt. “Come on, prepare me” , he breaths before taking him into this mouth, giving a long and strong suck._

 

When a hot mouth welcomes his shaft he can´t suppress a begging whimper and his hand moves to get a good grip on that sweet and short black hair that was already damp with sweat. His hand moves to where he was told to more and he breathes some of the hot air out and wets his lips just to bite down on them before he would get too loud. His fingers swirl around Andrew´s opening and he presses the first in, ever so lightly and moves it back and forth, soothing the other when he breathes in discomfort. “Shh.. It´ll get better.”

 

_Andrew takes more of Ben into his mouth, sucking and licking, steadying himself on his arms as he pushes back against Ben´s fingers, trying to get them deeper._

_The sweet pain soon is replaced by need and he slips away, straddling Ben with a swift move using one of his hands to guide Ben´s erection into him. He hisses at the feeling of being filled and lowers himself deeper - just that something was different. Had Steven´s cock always been this thick?  
But his brain is just too busy elsewhere and so he slowly moves his hips, dancing, moving to a melody only he can hear in his mind. _

 

He would definitely leave bruises, his fingernails digging into the flesh of Andrew´s thighs, holding him in place when he needs his member just that deep inside or moving him up and down in a sometimes hard and sometimes in a slow but very delicious mode. He slips in and out and pulls Andrew down into a passionate and very hot tongue kiss that nearly throws him over the edge... just that this had never happened in a dream before and this feels ...oh so real. Benedict opens his eyes and slows down his movements.   
Wait.

Was this...

 

_Andrew moaned at the pain provided by Benedict´s fingernails. Yes! Just like this! He moans and kisses him back feverishly, feeling his orgasm building up. Not long. He moves with the other´s rather rough rhythm, reaching for his own cock stroking himself only a few times before he comes, moaning and spurting over Ben´s chest, hitting even his face a bit and cramping down on Ben´s cock at the same time. “Please...” he breathes, starting to move again, panting heavily. “Please, please...pl...” Suddenly his eyes flutter open and widen in shock._

 

When Andrew´s cum hits his chest and face and his muscles clench around his cock he wasn´t able to think for a moment. He just felt his own orgasm run through his body, spend hot semen deep inside Andrew´s body with a keening groan before his muscles relax and he starts to realize... that this was far too real to be a dream. This feels real. The hot skin on his own, sweaty and warm and ...Andrew.

Who was staring at him with a shocked expression on his face. Did they... how could it even...   
Benedict sits up in a swift move, running a hand over his face, searching for words to say but nothing feels right. “Oh...dear... what did we...did we just?” he still wasn´t able to form proper sentences.

 

_Andrew ignores the slight pain that rushes though him just as he ignores the fluid – Ben´s semen – tickling down his buttocks as Benedict slips away from him. He is just too shocked at the fact – at the sight. He had dreamed about Steven – such a wonderful dream – and ...but....the reality.._

“ _I´m sorry!” he bursts out, scrambling away from the bed, stumbling off it and grabbing his pants as he makes it for the door._

 

Ben stands up from the bed in one swift move, pulling his pants up and makes his way to the door to keep Andrew from leaving the room. “Andrew! Andrew stay! Don´t panic and calm down! It´s ...it´s just...” Ben searches for words again but nothing comes out. He pulls Andrew away from the door and into his arms. God, what did they just do and how on earth did that happen? He makes them sit down on the bed, waving a hand over his face and falls back on the mattress. “Please, don´t leave. We need to talk about what happened here!” Because he doesn´t have a clue.

 

_Andrew is shivering all over, burying his face in his hands. “I´m sorry. I was..dreaming. Bad. And I thought.. I often dream like this and Steven then..soothes me. Distracts me... and … Ben, really. I´m sorry! I never wanted to...” To what? Ruin all this? Anger grows up in him and he groans loudly. “Gah! I always mess it up.”_

 

Ben sits up again and lets out a frustrated groan. “Oh please! You know that this game includes the two of us. It´s not like just you. I should... I shouldn´t... but I thought it was a dream because.. “ He moves nervously and holds his face buried in his hands to collect his thoughts. “It´s not important whose fault this was. We went to bed together. We both had no ambitions to take advantage of the other. And we ended up like..” He gestures in Andrew´s direction. “Both naked and ..we did have Sex. Dear God...” Ben throws his body back and groans again. What now?

 

_Andrew sits down on the bed again, pulling his legs up. He was quiet for a while and then looks up. “A dream? You thought you were having a dream? With me?” His face lights up and a broad smirk appears on his lips. “Do you have fantasies of me Mr. Holmes´?” he mocked Ben. “Sexual ones?”_

 

Benedict smiles under his hands and removes them. “Thought so because of our accidental kissing, dear Jim.” he pokes Andrew into his side and his face turns serious again. “This is a bad joke. Or are we really dreaming?”

 

“ _I have no idea”, Andrew sighs, rubbing his face and hair. “Still, I´m sorry. I never should have gone so far – I just... those dreams scare me and for the last decade Steven was there to calm me down. I must have mixed you up while you thought you were dreaming.” He reached for a pillow. “I´ll sleep on the couch from now on.” He smiled sheepishly. “Just to prevent a second time.”_

 

Again Ben holds him back and stands up himself. “Don´t you dare think about it.” He pushes him onto the mattress, grabbing the pillow during Andrew´s fall. “You´re my guest and I´ll sleep on the couch. And if there´s anything you need, besides Sex, you can come and wake me, okay?” And with that he disappears.

 

_Andrew can´t help but obey and so he curls up into the sheets that still smell of sex. He inhales the scent and curls up some more, clinging to a pillow._


	5. Getting closer

„aaaand that was the last one, welldone guys! Enough for today, we'll start tomorrow with something new!“ Ben walks next to Martin when they left the set, smiling. They're signing pictures, pages and skin of their fans while Amanda watches the whole scene with amusement. „At least she has her daughter now. Of course it'll be a hard time for her with the divorce. But she has someone by her side, Lucy will help her to get better.“ They chit-chatted for a while until Martin and Amanda got to their car and Ben goodbyes them. They decided to meet a week later, now that the whole situation has loosened up a bit and they wanted to give Andrew some time to readjust. Ben sits on his motor-cycle and drives home while he was looking forward to a refreshing shower and a nice conversation with Andrew.

 

_Andrew had gotten used to live with Benedict and slowly but surely he moves in with the slightly elder man. When Ben shows up at home he looks up from the kitchen. "Welcome home! I made dinner!"_

 

Ben undresses his coat and lowers his helmet to the little table at the door entrance. He follows the voice to the kitchen and enters it with an amused expression on his face. Andrew is standing there with a towel wrapped around his hip to protect his trousers from dirt and a back glove wrapped around his other hand. His smile grows wider and he leans against the doorframe "I can't remember when I last came in the joyment of such a sight“

 

_Andrew blushes and hurries to turn around, waving it off. "Ah shut it! Get washed up and take a seat before it gets cold and omg now i sound like my ol' mother!" He sets the table and pulls off the towel. "I actually never cooked before..."_

 

Ben raises an eyebrow at that last bit of the sentence "I hope we'll survive that" he says with a hearable smirk in his voice. When he turns around he has a towel right being smashed into his face and he laughs, turning on his heels to head for the bathroom.

 

_"Yaaaaah! I called my mom and let her tell me how to do it!" She had wanted to know for what girl he would cook and when he would introduce her to her. But he didn't mention that to Ben._

 

Ben sighs when the cold water rushes down his body and his mind was able to rest for a little time. He reaches for the towel and wrapps it around his waist leaving the bathroom. He hears some noise from the kitchen and pauses his walk to the cupboard to get himself dressed to look after Andrew. "Are you okay there? Need some help?"

 

_Seriously a nice sight. Really. Nice. Sexy so to say. Especially when you have had a hot sexy night with him just before... Andrew shook his head, trying to get rid of the memory and laughing it off he said jokingly: "I'm fine but you should get that lusturous butt of yours dressed before you'll need some help!"_

 

Ben shoots him a look "I'm on my way." and with a glance back at Andrew who turns and tries to clean up the kitchen he gets to his room, humming a silent melody. He gets rid of the towel and slips into his favourite shirt and one of his best trousers before he enters the kitchen again. "So how was your day? You spend the afternoon with Lucy?." He takes the seat Andrew offers him, still with a smirk on his face

 

_Andrew smiles, offering some of the pasta to Irish stew to Ben. "We went to the London Eye, Lucy and I. It was fun, though i think some fans recognized me. But maybe they were in doubt because of the child. Noone would expect me to walk around with a child, right?" He grinns. "So I'm just a very good doppelganger of myself." He frowns for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them again he finds Ben looking at him worriedly._

_Andrew rubbed his hands over his face in this usual manner of his´. "Yeah, sure. I´m fine. No need to look like this."_

 

Ben remains silent and stands up to give Andrew some time. He clears the table and returns from the kitchen with a bottle of red wine and 2 glasses. "Come on, we'll get comfortable a bit." He won't get accept that answer, not one second but he won't push Andrew. So he sits down on the couch, wearing a warm smile on his face and offering Andrew the seat next to him.

_"Just a headache" , Andrew smils faintly, walking over to him and sliding down on the couch next to Benedict. "No offers for jobs... that fustrates me. While you can´t even breath, I get barely nothing offered. "He laughs. "Well seems noone does want an old fashioned viallain, will they? And stuff I had been offered too didn´t work out...something like that."_

 

Ben still smiles while he pours them some wine "You're not having self-doubts, do you? Because - and I hope you know that I mean what I say and I don't want to crawl - you are a brilliant actor. Everyone adores your play not just on the stage. I guess the next job will be offered to you soon." He looks Andrew directly into the eyes, he really means what he said to him, because in his opinion Andrew is one of Londons best actors (besides the fact that he comes from dublin). "I guess you need to relax yourself a bit, the last days have been stressful for you."

 

_"They sure have" Andrew sighs, taking the glass and drowing the wine in one big gulp. "You think I should go public about Lucy? Her mother suggested so. Would be easier, she said, to go out with her then. But I don´t want all those reporters nagging on her. "_

 

Ben pours Andrew a new glass, one says red wine is a good remedy for headache and he has a day off so they would not have to get up early. "If you want to hear my opinion, I'd do it like Martin and Amanda. They don't want their kids involved in that because it could have a bad influence on their development. But if you want the world to know.. I just don't know what Stevens reaction would be like. By the way, did you try to call him again?" Ben sits back, legs crossed and watches Andrew attentive

 

_Andrew pulls up his legs at that last bit and hugs them. "He doesn't want to talk to me." He said. "I guess it's over for good." He takes the wine and empties the glass at once again. "Don't you have anything stronger? I feel like getting drunk tonight."_

Ben doesn't move or say something, he just lets Andrew talk it out and sits still until Andrew recognizes and shoots him a quizzical look "So, that's why you're abstracted." He holds his gaze "Andrew, I know you miss him but if he doesn't call, if he doesn't care though you told him about a daughter and you need help it would be better for you if you try to back away."

 

_"I won't. It's okay, oh whoa it's raining!" He says trying to get up but is being hold back by Ben. With a smile that doesn't reach his eyes he says. "Really, i'm okay. I just wanna get drunk tonight and have some nice sleep without fucking nightmares!"_

 

Again Ben remains silent, still holding Andrews arm in his grip. He sighs and pulls him closer into a hug "You're having a hard time and - as honest as I can say from my point of view - you won't be able to deal with that on your own. And that's not a shame. And I want to let you know that I'm here if you need something." He smiles, he knew exactly what that would be, rememberig the time he had his break up with Olivia. Friends, fun and some alcohol. "...and I think more wine would be a good starter, don't you think?" He lets go off Andrew and pours them another glass. And a next. Good, that he always has something in stock.

 

_Pouring was actually something Andrew was pretty good with. That and smiling. He could get someone around his finger with just one full smile of his, and he could get whatever he wanted with one big pout. "Puuuhhleaaaase?"_

 

Ben laughs and pours Andrew another glass, his head feels more dizzy with every passing minute but they had two empty bottles of wine and a third would follow soon "I guess your mother couldn't say no when you asked something of her with that voice and that face." The one hand musses up Andrews hair playful and he smiles at him, a warm and hearty smile

 

_"Nothing. I am her only boy after all." He chuckles. Suddenly he gets up, looking around. "I need a shower!" He said, pulling off his shirt. But instead of heading to the bathroom he opens the door to the balcony, stepping outside into the pouring rain. "Now that's goood!" He laughs into the night. "Come join me Ben!"_

 

"Andrew, come back - you might get a cold if you.." But he doesn't continue his sentence, because a flashback of that night hits him. They had been naked and his skin was soft. He had left bruises, still visible for him now, that he wears no shirt. And those soft lips. Ben shakes his head to get it clear but it doesn't help. And what on earth holds him from joining Andrew there? Why shouldn't he? He takes a good sip of his wine and stood, a bit unsteady. He walks over to the balcony where Andrew was still standing, his face turned to the sky and his eyes closed. Ben smiles a weird smile and took his shirt off in one swift move and joins Andrew in the pouring rain.

 

_"It's nice, isn't it." Andrew says, his eyes still closed. "One can feel the greatness of living out here." For another moment he's silent, then he shakes his head, droplets of water hitting Ben. Smiling he looks at him, his wet hair clung to his face, and with a swift move he closes the distance between them, gets on his tiptoes and pulls Benedict into a heated kiss._

 

He couldn't care less of thinking about what people might think if they'd see the both of them at the balcony kissing. No, and there was not a single moment of hesitation when he wraps his arms around Andrew to pull him closer to deepen the kiss. The rain should cool down the heated sitution but he feels warm and he feels good. It feels amazing to kiss those lips again, now knowing that they are both aware of the other. Maybe not sober but aware who is the other one and it's not a dream. When Ben pulls away to get some air he looks Andrew deep into the eyes and mutters (just for him to hear in his imagination but Andrew can hear it, too) "Beautiful."

 

_Andrew moans into the kiss when it was returned by Ben and he clings to the other, pressing their soaked bodies together. He gasps for air but doesn't break the kiss long enough. Again and again he wanted to kiss those beautiful lips, feel his tongue battling against his own. He chuckles at Ben's comment on his eyes. "So are yours," he breaths, kissing him again and moving his lips over the taller man's neck to his shoulder, slightly digging his teeth into the soft skin while his hands roam over the rim of Benedict's pants. He wants him. Now. Here. On the roof. In the rain._


	6. RainSex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW ! oh yes... you better believe it...  
> get your tissues ready for nosebleed...

Ben hisses when Andrews teeth nibbled at his shoulder and he leans back against the wall, taking Andrew with him. He could feel cold fingertips playing with the rim of his pants and he stops for a second before he caresses Andrews neck slightly with his hands, moving them forward to hold his face in them. So beautiful. His eyes, his smile, the visible blush on his cheeks. Before they had met again he would have never thought that they would be that close one day... But he needs to stop his thinking, the urge to kiss Andrew again was high and it was far too seductive. He decides that he doesn't care, not that they would get a cold if they'd go on like this, not that Andrew might just want to kill the pain.. He moans when he felt Andrews fingers move under his waistband - no he doesn't care. He caught Andrews lips again, kissing him furously and moves his hand up and in directly into his pants, oh god, how much he wants him. He whirls them around, Andrews back was now pressed against the wall, and opens Andrews pants in one swift move and pulled them down.  
  
 _Andrew moans out loudly, his mouth roaming over Benedict's chest, licking, nibbling on his nipples. He gasps when his pants were pulled down and the cold air touches his rigid erection. He pulls benedict closer, buring his hands in his hair. "Take me!" He whispers, his voice low and hoarse. "Fuck me, here! Now! Please!"_  
  
Ben moans when Andrew pulls him in closer and he could feel his exposed erection against his body. He wants him, he would have him, here, now. He makes short work of his own briefs and catches Andrews lips in a violent kiss again, biting down and suck them in his mouth. He doesn't answer or talk at all, the only noises which left his mouth were low groans and moans. He lifts Andrew up and against the wall, their eyes fixed with each. When he finally got his erection placed at Andrews hole he can't help it but slide into him, his precum helping the access. His eyes flutters shut and a loud moan left his mouth "Andrew..."  
  
 _Andrew wrapps his legs around Ben´s waist, pressing his back against the cold wall for some more support. He is small, yes, but if he would be of any rational thought he would have wondered if Ben could hold him - but he wasn´t. His mind is busy elsewhere. Exploding for example. Grunting words like "yes, now, please" ends up in a low moan when Ben enters him, tearing him apart. He tries to move against him as good as possilbe while being squeezed between the wall and Ben. He wants more. Now_.  
  
Ben doesn't stop until he is fully seated in Andrew, he rest his forehead against Andrews to get a bit of a cool down, if he would go on he would just pound into the other until he comes deep inside of him. Although their position wasn't perfect, so he pulls out and takes Andrew by the wrist, pulling him inside what gains him a puzzled look from Andrew. Fast steps and the door flows open when he roughly pushes Andrew on the bed, so there they are again - but now it was different. They are both naked, knowing and wanting, dear god. Ben soaks in the sight in front of him before he quickly joins Andrew, kissing his neck while he straddles his legs.  
  
 _Andrew yelps slightly when Ben retreats and grabs his wrist, pulling him inside. So much for the rainsex. He is dragged after Benedict into the bedroom, being pushed on the bed. Laughing he spreads out there, showing Ben one of his most beautiful smiles. "you´re not much into outside fun, right?" he chuckles. He leans back his head giving Ben more access when the other started kissing his neck. His legs wrapp around his hips again. "Shh..slowly.." He whispers. "I wanna savour this."_  
  
He pulls away just a bit to get some air into his lungs, just a little rest.. and looks down at a spread out and smiling Andrew and he relaxes. It was so easy being with him, since he has been here- nevermind what they're doing - he always feels good when Andrew is around. His voice, his smile, his whole presence - nearly everything about him made him calm and happy. And he mirrors Andrews smile without knowing it. And now, that he looks up to him, that longing in his eyes, his soft skin covered with raindrops mixed with sweat he couldn't hold himself back, he wants to kiss Andrew, to make him moan his name, to make him want...He kisses Andrews chest, lightly nips it with his teeth and roams a hand over it that holds his jaw in place when he bits down at his throat, his tongue slides up to his ear "Exactly what is it... you need to savour? This?" The idle hand caresses his inner thigh, wanders higher to his cock and he starts to give him a slow handjob "Tell me what you want me to do to you.." Bens voice is low and seductive.  
  
 _It had always made him feel shy, when Steven had looked down on him like this. He had blushed and turned away- even after ten years of being with him. But it is different now with Benedict. He wants the other to look at him, the lust he saw in his eyes just turns him on even more if that was at all possible. He wants to feel him. Everywhere. Wants every inch of his skin covered by him. "Everything", he whispers, his voice low. His hands runs through Ben´s curls, strocking him and down his back, his nails digging into it as a shiver rans up his spine the moment Ben starts strocking his erection. "Ben..." he moans. "Please...more..."_  
  
Andrews voice sends a jolt to his own erection that made him shiver and a single moan left his mouth when he catches Andrews lips with his own to stop his talking. It turns him on to no end and he doesn't want to come now, he wants to enjoy it. He wants to see Andrew like this as long as it was possible, he wants to make him feel wanted.. He slips down slowly, leaving kisses during his trail downwards and sits in front of the bed, Andrew still lies there, and Ben swallows down a sudden hint of panic when he was face to face with Andrews erection, he has never done this before but he wants to do this so damn much. His hand still strokes Andrew and he sticks his tongue out to get a favour, licking over the glans slowly. It doesn't taste bad so he gets the head into his mouth, looking up to see if he was doing okay  
  
 _Andrew has to bite his lip hard not to come right away. Now that was waaaay too much sexy. He wants to buck into the heat of Ben´s mouth but he was just about sane enough to remember Ben had probably never done it before so he tried to keep his hips still, shivering while doing so. "You...don´t have to.....ghnn...do that.." he whispers, between moans of pleasure. Instead he wants to get a taste of Benedict. Slowly he slid away from the slightly elder, his erection dripping and about to burst so it feels. "Let me....teach you..." he says, his eyes almost black with lust. Gently he pushes Ben into the sheets, bringing them into a 69 position. Like that he would be able to control himself better and yet get a taste of this ...massive Big Ben.... Licking his lips he kissed the tip, licking over it before giving the skin a little suck_  
  
His mind goes simply blank when he felt Andrews mouth embracing his erection and he moans low and lustful "ooooh gooooood, this--" and his breath stutters when he bucked up his hips into Andrews awaiting mouth, it has been a while since someone last gabe him a blowjob and this feels nearly /perfect/ he grips Andrews ass and kneads it. He defenitely wants to return the favour, and tries it like he would like it, one hand holding the inner thigh open for better access and the other lightly stroking Andrews erection, pulling the foreskin back he swirls his tongue around the tip, licking the precum from it and sucks him into his mouth, getting Andrew deep into it until he is nearly gagging.  
  
 _Andrew finds himself rather quickly adepting to the new size and he sucks benedict in, giving all he could , while he feels the other's hands on his butt. He wants to feel those long fingers inside of him. "Please, benedict...please....di- aaahh...." He can´t speak on as Ben engulfed his cock with his mouth and he feels that heat and moist around him, sending shivers up his spine._  
  
Ben hums when he feels Andrew reply to his former actions and he was getting used to the large thing in his mouth so he tries to get Andrew a bit deeper and deeper.. Until he felt a little hairline tickling his nose and he makes another noise that vibrates through Andrews cock, just to move back a bit and to hollow his cheeks, breathing wasn't easy anymore and he soon feels the need to breath after a few sucks.  
  
 _Andrew gives him one last, deepthroating suck and moving, turning around to kiss Benedict, letting him taste some of himself. He looks at him lovingly, stroking his cheek. "You should go easy on that. With some more practise though..." Chuckling he took Ben's hand, placing it on his hip. He looks deep into the other's eyes. "Take me now Benedict. I want to feel you inside me. Please. Will you?" He leans in closer, his lips touching Ben's ear just so slightly. "Fuck me!"_


	7. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not NSFW

  
He enjoys the kiss, to say the least, not that he would like to brag but he has some kissing experience and to kiss Andrew was different. It felt somehow like his first kiss, back at the boarding school or the first kisses with Olivia. And he would take his chance to kiss Andrew very often... And oh the words that come out of his mouth are pure seduction. After he had some air back in his lungs he whispers with a hoarse voice "how cruel would it be...to let you wait for it... Nnnghh, and it would be insane to not, haaa~" the last bit of the sentence was swallowed by another kiss and a sudden whimper when he felt Andrew sinking down on him again and he moves his hips, circling them in a slow rhythm.  
  
 _Andrew sits on Ben's lap, slowing moving his hips, while he kisses the other's face, nibbling on his neck, licking over his collarbone. "You feel so good." He whispers, before biting on Ben's earlope, tugging on it. He feels his orgasm building up now more and more. Just a little more friction. He leans back, steading his body on his arms and offering his lower parts for Ben to touch. "Please!" He moans out, probably loud enough for the neighbours to hear. "Oh, Ben, please..."_  
  
There it was, that special moment he would never forget, that moment he knows that there would be a next time, that there has to be a next time. He leans back and bucks his hips up, giving Andrew more room to move and moans when Andrew settles a faster pace. He embraces Andrews erection and strokes him in rhythm with his moves.. And - ohhh how good Andrew felt around him, so tight and hot, Ben could feel his orgasm built up so he pulls Andrew down into a nearly violent kiss "Come for me Andrew, I want you, I need you to-"  
  
 _He can't hold back for any moment longer. The friction Ben gives him with his hand, the feeling of being filled this thoroughly, the hard cock inside of him, pulsing.. "Ben....ben....ben...." He moans over and over, into the kiss. his eyes fluttering shut as he squeezes down hard on Benedict, coming into the others hand and over his stomach. Panting he wrapps his arms around Ben's neck again, moving a few more times, wanting Benedict to come into him._  
  
When Andrew finally slings his arms around his neck and makes this sweet little noises he can't hold it any longer, the muscles clenching around his erection finally did it for him and he holds Andrew in a tight embrace when he follows him over the edge, moaning his name, roaming his hand over the others back and caresses the chilled skin with soft fingertips. There are no words to describe, no gesture to tell Andrew how he enjoys what they did but a kiss, breathtaking and soft, just Bens lips on Andrews, soft and pliant and warm. He cups Andrews face with one hand and looks him into the eyes, still speechless  
  
 _Andrew smiles back, still breathing hard. His hands run through Benedict's damp hair, strocking it. His lips nuzzle the others face, his nose rubbing over his cheeks. "That was....amazing...." He finally whispers, feeling Ben slowly softening and slipping out of him. Chuckling he looks down, a childish smirk on his lips. "Sorry I made such a mess..."_  
  
Ben finally finds his ability to speak again, still a bit breathless he speaks up "'´s alright, I'm fine... More than ever." He laughs and tries to move them but Andrew was still sitting on his lap and he was still a bit weak from the aftermath "That was... Intense"  
  
 _"It sure was..."Andrew smiles, sliding off of him. He stretches out on the bed. "Cig first or want to jn me for a shower?" He crawls around on the bed, looking for his pants, when he remembers that Ben had undressed him on the roof. So his pants were still up there, soaked. Just like his last pack of cigarettes. With a sigh he fell back on the bed, spreading out comfortably. "Did it...offend you?" He asks, a little scared._  
  
Still feeling a bit dizzy but not because of any residual alcohol he waits some seconds before he lays on his side, his face turned to Andrews and it wears a quizzical expression. " Should I feel offended? " The hesitation in Andrew´s moves makes him bite down on his lower lip before he talks on. Andrew must have been through some unpleasant experiences with people who are not tolerant or even more worse. He smiles the brightest smile he was able to at the moment "It´s been a long time since I've felt so alive."  
  
 _Andrew smiles, his face showing pure relief. "That ...thank you." He snuggels closer to Ben, cuddling up to him. He runs his hand over Benedict's side. "I thought maybe you would regret it, as soon as it's over. Happened a few times before i moved in with Steven. Catholic Ireland. They wanted to try but then it grossed them out." His hand rests on Ben's cheek, a finger drawing out the delicate lines of his cheekbones. "I wanted you the moment I first saw you..."_  
  
"Oh well, I guess that ought to be kind of a compliment I think so.. Thank you. I always knew you'd be a good lover. Even before I figured out that you're just into men. Thought about that you should meet my half sister." He rolls onto his back and closes his eyes again "I'd really like a nice hot shower and then... A new pillowcase and a snatch of sleep?" He rolls on his belly and runs a finger from Andrews chest to his belly where he runs little circles round his bellybutton. "I'd stay if you don't mind me to... Now we have nothing to be afraid about, don't we?"  
  
 _Andrew sits up on his ellbows. "Benedict, as far I recall...your sister is like 16 years my senior. You REALLY wanted to pair me up with her?" He chuckles. "Sorry but I´d rather have her little brother fuck me," he grins naughtily. "Now, shower sounds fine to me," he says and gets up, wriggling his butt_  
  
Without another comment he gets up and follows Andrew, lowers his hand and caresses his butt "Would you stop talking such filthy things, Mr. Scott, what shall the others think of you?" He raises an eyebrow up, a playfull gesture and turns Andrew for another kiss, just because he wants to, keeping him pressed against his body and his lips slowly moving on Andrews. He slightly pulls away to ask with a hoarse voice "Is.. 'This' okay for you? Because it's not.. I'm not... You know..."  
  
 _He chuckles. "I'll say all the filthy stuff i want to say mister Cumberbatch." He leans up and kiss him back. At Benedict's question he tilted his head, thinking. "I guess, it's okay. We broke up, right? It's not as if....he would mind." There is a hint of pain in his voice but he covers it up with a smile, hurring into Ben's bathroom and stepping into the shower. He reaches out to the other, "Join me?"_  
  



	8. Kinks 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW ^^ contains light bondage and talking about Kinks ^_~

  
"If the press is getting to know ANY of this.. We're screwed, you know that?" Ben says with his best teachers voice and steps into the shower, next to Andrew. He ruffles through the others hair and let his hand wander down to his neck and shoulder. "I can barely keep my hands off you, what kind of magic is that?" Betraying his words, Ben turned to get some shampoo in his hair. "I'll blame the wine for it, what do you say?"  
  
 _Andrew chuckles. "Oh, I bet some fans would sure love it." He lets Ben massage his shoulders and reaches behind him, rubbing the other's balls. "I'm pretty good hiding my relationship. It worked for 10 years with Steven." He turns and reaches up, standing on his tiptoes to rub the soap into Ben's hair. "Oh I would rather blame my good looks and sexy butt, so you can't resist me," he smiles up wicketly. "Hey Benedict, what's your naughtiest sex fantasy? And i don't mind if it's about a woman. Or...women."_  
  
"Let's see..." Ben steps behind Andrew and massages the shampoo in Andrews hair, pulling at it lightly while doing so. He remembers back and finally got something in mind, his smile goes smug. "I had my first girlfriend for a very long time and one day when we'd gone out into the cinema to watch a movie we've been sitting in the last row, nobody watching, everybody watches the screen. I got my hand under her skirt but she didn't want to... But it was a nice idea I think." He was still back in his imagination, his fingers caressing Andrews neck and he kisses it tenderly. "Tell me about yours then, will you?"  
  
 _Andrew smiled and licks his lips. "Sounds nice. I wouldn't mind trying that. Sounds hot." He rinses out his hair, shaking his head. "Mine, hmm? I would like to...either be shakled up ...or do it outside. Somewhere like on the roof, with people able to see us, hear us. That's just...erotic. Isn't it?" He blushes and quickly reaches out, turning the water cold._  
  
Ben reaches around Andrew to turn the water warm again and leans against him, running his tongue over Andrews earlobe, his hands pulling Andrew against his chest "..and what would you say... If you could have, like -both at once?" He holds Andrew in place, one arm still slung arond his chest, the other one caressing his cheeks and turning his face to force him to look at Ben.  
  
 _Smiling up at him his lips turns into a wicked smirk. "I'd love it." He leans in closer, his lips brushing over Ben's. "It would be perfect if you...could..." He bites his lip and slipps out of the shower. "Enough said." He reaches for a towel, throwing one to Ben._  
  
An evil smile appears on his face when he follows Andrew to his bedroom. They are both dry now and Andrew yawns, walking over to the bed, just the moment Ben has waited for. He grabs him by his wrist and pulled them behind together behind his back, holding them in place with one of his hands when he felt Andrew struggle lightly "Don't even try" he turns him to get a kiss from those lips, the smile still visible on his face (that 'I'll gonna fuck you soon' smile kekekeke) "You gave me the ideas, I'm afraid you have to live with that now.." He turns Andrew again walking them over to his cupboard where he fetchs a belt to bind Andrews hands together.  
  
 _Andrew yelps at Ben's sudden actions. "Yaah! I didn't mean right now! I am all worn out!" He doesn't struggle much - just a little. And a little more when Ben ties his hands. "You didn't even let me finish my fantasy!" Yet - even though it had been less than an hour he felt arousement tickle in his cock again._  
  
"So you mind telling me now? I'm a bit afraid that you can't do that later, just saying!" Ben turns Andrew to the bed and makes him sit down on it. His hands roaming over Andrews thighs "I think I'll take my time to touch you, I still can't get enough of this." To emphasize his words he runs his hands over Andrews butt and squeezes it lightly  
  
 _Andrew whimpers slightly, but neither out of fear nor pain. More of anticipation. He looks up at Ben, starkng into his eyes. "Another person. Someone I can't see." He licks his lips. "Why don't we rather start out with the cinema?" He adds, shivering under Ben's touch, he wants to give more into him, so he tries to wriggle into a better position._  
  
"It's one thing after the other, you can't have all at once" he says in a commanding tone. He pulls Andrew up by the belt and whispers into his ear Think about a safeword, you'll might need one. I won't accept a 'no' or a 'please stop' when we're starting. You got that?" He closes the belt a bit tighter around Andrews wrists.  
  
 _Now that doesn't just thrill him, it almost let him feel a hint of fear. "How come you're into this, my dear Sherlock?" He asks, jokingly but his voice shaking a bit under the sudden pain that runs through his arms as Benedict tightens the belt around his wrists. It excites him. Yes.oh yes, but it also scared him. He searches Ben's eyes. "You're not just playing with me, right? Like i mean...i can trust you, right?" How could he even doubt it?_  
  
Ben could feel Andrew tense up all of the sudden. He knows how to play this game for he had learned that for a film and practised it once after that, but with the difference that they had talked that through and she had time to prepare. Andrew has nothing of that. He wouldn't go that far, this time. Just a hint of what awaits him. He whirls him around and looks Andrew in the eyes, playing with him? No, it was not like that. He just... Doesn't know how to feel about this whole situation but he wouldn't dump Andrew, not like Steven did. He is his friend. "Listen, Andrew. I would never. /never/ let you down. I'm not just playing with you, you mean something to me. I jus haven't quite figured out what this is exactly. And with .. This.." He waves a hand at them both and Andrews bounded hands "..we doesn't have to go further. I just thought you'd want to try it."  
  
 _"I want to try." Andrew says, his voice unsteady. "It's just that I was played with badly once. I need to trust you before I can submit myself to you." He looks into Ben's eyes, searching him. "But I trust you." He lowers his eyes. "I'm yours. Do what you want." He said, leaning back on the back, his bound hands in his back, his naked body stretching out on the sheets. He closes his eyes, relaxing, knowing Ben 's gaze upon him._  
  
He listens Andrews words and immediately feels sorry for him, taking advantage of someone with /this/ means pain and lots of lost trust. He doesn't quite know how but he would give him something good to remember from this. He leans down starts with another kiss for Andrews lips, a kiss that should calm him and make him feel wanted.  
  
 _Andrew smiles and closes his eyes, exposing his body to Ben's kisses. He loves the feel of the other's soft lips on his skin. How Ben can make him feel good. Good looking, good enough to like him, he could make him feel wanted. Needed. "Benedict.." He whispers, searching his eyes._  
  
Ben rests his head against Andrews after that kiss, it always makes his head spin around when they kiss, it's not just the alcohol. He looks into Andrews eyes, and he felt it. That warm feeling warming up his chest, his body. /that/ feeling that makes him want to scream out of joy, because he is happy, happy that Andrew is here, that they share kisses and more, that they share a bed and... He couldn't tell him. Not now. Not with everything that happens to him at the moment. He would tell him, later. He defenitely would tell him when everything has calmed down a bit. For now he would just enjoy the feeling of the person he desires laying under him, absolutely on his mercy. He licks his lips and brings his teeth to Andrews shoulder, biting down on it with some strength. "You want me, do you? Say it."  
  
 _His mind swirls. Toughts of back then, during his teenage years appeared and brought painful memories, but then there is Benedict's face, those beautiful eyes, the calm and reassuring smile. He has this expression. An expression he has only seen on Steven so far. And he knows he can trust him. The slight pain spreading from the bite send shivers through his body right into his groin. "I do..." He whispers. Clearing his throat he repeats. "I want you." He lifts his head as much as possible, meating Ben's gaze with his own. Daring him. Challenging, provoking him. "I want you pounding into me, want you to make me scream out your name.“_  
  
"What a good boy, I'll see if I can do that for you" his voice is a bit lower than usual and his gaze turns cold and smug when he gets up and gris the belt to pull Andrew to his knees "Lean forward, knees spread as wide as you can." It is an order, and he will regret not to follow it. Ben tries to restrain a bit, he doesn't want to creep out Andrew, even if he asked for it. He could be be very... less careful to say the least.  
  
 _Andrew slowly got up onto his kneews, spreading them. His breath quickened at the deep, commanding tone in Ben's voice. Now that was sexy. He wonders how far Ben would actually go._  
  
Ben admires the sight in front of him, he won´t go very far. Andrew seems to be tired already and they might've had enough sex for tonight, day is dawning already. Leaning over to the bedside cabinet he fetches some lube from the first drawer and then leans down to lick a line over Andrews neck and purrs into his ear "I'll make you scream for more until you don't have any air left to breath" He lubes to fingers and slips them into Andrew withour warning, scissors his fingers and streches Andrews hole, holding him in place with the other hand. He really enjoyes this, not that he ever had the chance to do it but he finds it really refreshing.  
  
 _Andrew moans out and the sudden intrusion, he was still loosened up a bit from earlier, but he also feels a bit worn out from earlier. He wants to lean forward, spread out his butt to Ben but the other doesn`t allow him, so he tries to keep up his balance, pushing back against Benedict's finger._  
  
Of course he recognizes the light struggle but he won't give in, not now. Andrew is still a bit loosened up and slick with lube, it won't hurt, just a bit much for one night and they could both deal with that! "No impatience needed, you'll get what you ask for soon." It starts to rain again, what gives him an idea. It was quite a bit of rain and it was dark, probably.. He removes his fingers and loosens the belt what earns him an unpleasant whimper of Andrew. He sighs dramatically and slaps his ass with one firm stroke "I don't like to tell things twice, and I said no impatience, remember? Now get up. Walk." He stands in front of the bed, waiting for Andrew to follow his instructions.  
  
 _Oh please. He wants him. He wants to be filled by him. But it seems Benedict has other thoughts for him. Andrew stumbles on his legs, trying to steady himself, while his legs fearing to give away under him. Slowly he lets Benedict guide him outside on the belt that now functions more like a lash. The cold rain soaks him within seconds, making him shiver. "B-Ben?"_  
  
Ben steps out of the flat and onto the balcony as well, right behind Andrew. he wraps his arms around him pulling him closer and whispers into his ear "I'm here" He closes the door behind them, he don't want his living room to be flooded. There they are, naked, shivering in the cold rain and he doesn't feel a bit like having sex here right now. He just wants to hold Andrew, wants his skin to warm up Andrew so that he would stop shivering. He rubs his arms to comfort him and sets butterfly kisses on his shoulderblades, kissing his way up to catch Andrews cold lips into a sensitive and loving kiss. He was very aware that he might overstep the boundaries but he also decides he doesn't care at the moment. No hesitation.  
  
 _Leaning back into Benedict's broad chest Andrew lets himself calm down and relax. He rubbs bis back and butt against the other's chest and groin. Turning around he kisses him back, slowly and sensually. All the tension is gone, showered off by the rain. He just wants to curl into Ben's arms now, being hold by him and holding him. Talk to him. Just like that._  
  
His voice was hoarse first when he is speaking again "Come on, another shower and then we'll sleep properly. I can't take the responsibility for you catching a cold. Londons showstages would be exhausted without you!" He pushes Andrew lightly, wraps an arm around his waist to support him "Seems like you're frozen to the ground, I'm sorry. Maybe it was a bit much for one evening." He places a single kiss on Andrews forehead and caresses his arm all the way back to the shower.  
  
 _"Mind to untie me then?" Andrew says, trying to surpress a yawn. He feels so tired suddenly. He just wants to curl up, just wants to sleep. And sleep hits him earlier than he wants. Just when they reenter the bedroom he leans against Ben's frame, not able to keep his eyes open for any long and just the moment his legs also give in, ressulting in him sliding to the floor_  
  
Ben catches him during the fall, lift Andrew up into his arms and carries him to the bed. He mutters something of 'walk on my own' and 'no need to..' And he smiles, carefully laying Andrew onto the bed who opens his eyes for just a bit. Ben humms a silent melodie and lays down next to him, covers them up with his sheets. He looks at the sleeping man next to him, just softly touching his cheeks with his fingertips, and rolls himself over to feel Andrews body against his. They'll maybe wonder if they wake up in the morning but for now it felt like heaven. Just.. Another kiss before he would... And within a second blink he falls asleep as well.


	9. Breaking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tissues everyone....

  
_The next morning the first rays of sun tickle Andrews nose. Not wanting to open his eyes just yet he curls up closer to the body next to him, stroking over his chest. The warmth feels so good. By the steady moving of the chest he guesses the other is still asleep so he pecked a small kiss on his shoulder before he opens his eyes to watch the beautiful sight next to him. A ring on the door makes him look up. Quickly Andrews checks on Ben but the other is still sound asleep. Sp he gets up and grabbing one of Bens Boxer Shorts he slides out of the bedroom, rushing to the door, expecting either Martin or the landlady. "Hi, I'm sorry for the noise last night, we ......."_  
  
"I am so sorry that I have to disturb you so early in the morning, I just wanted to ask if you know whe- Andrew? Is that.. What are you, wha-" Steven mutters, roaming his eyes over his barely dressed partner. His gaze found the hickey on Andrews neck and he his mouth flows open to say something, but his mind wasn't sure what to say first, what to feel or to do. He just stands there, his eyes wide with disbelief.  
  
 _Oh fuck. Now that was definitely not the person he had expected. "St- Steven.." He gasps, suddenly realizing now naked he is. He lifts his hands. "Listen, it's not as it looks like - well, actually it is." He stutters. "But...i ....Ben...we..." He takes a deep breath. "Come in! Please!"_  
  
It can't be. He was dreaming, a real bad dream. He has a nightmare, but this . This! Was not real. He shakes his head and looks at Andrew again. No dream then. There he is, the one he was looking for since 4 days, hadn't been in their flat, not with his sister and none of his friends knows where he is. Disappeared. He had been scared to Death that something cruel had happened to him. He knew that he was seen with Benedict so he decides to ask him if he knows something, as early as possible and now... There was Andrew, dressed with just a boxer that Steven was sure of wasn't his own. He looks at Andrew again, his eyes still wide in shock and turns to leave.  
  
 _"NO! Steven! Wait!" Andrew grabs his arm and pulls him into the flat. "Please...please, let us talk!" Fear and confusion spin in his head and heart. "Please, Steven. Let me explain," But what was there to explain? That he fucked with Benedict? There was nothing to explain about. It happened, simple as that._  
  
The shock fades away and another feeling gains the upper hand - anger. He bats Andrews hand aside and stands still where he is, his voice shaky with supressed fury "and what exactly is it what you want to explain to me, Andrew? HIM??" His voice grows louder with every sentence "That when I left after our fight about YOU cheating on me.. YOU run to your friend and let him FUCK YOU?? TELL ME!" He has never bee the violent type but hs words always hits the other like beats.  
  
 _Andrew swallows hard. That hurt - as true as it was. "I am sorry Steven. It just happened.. Please, don't shout. Ben's still asleep." Somehow he wonders who he really would choose now. Who should he fight for. Confusion makes his head spin. "Steven... I am so sorry."_  
  
Steven looks at him, so many years of relationship, he knew all of Andrews facial expressions very well and now he was sure that he has seen something he doesn't want to, always been afraid of. Feelings for another person. He is far to reasonable to just go and murder Benedict, but he wouldn't mind though. He can't look at Andrew again, not now. "No need to explain, Andrew, I do understand you very well. We used to live together, share a bed, share everything with each other, you remember?" He looks up, but can't bear to look at Andrew. He stands in a quick move "I.. Have to go.. "  
  
 _Andrew fights back the tears that start to dwell up in his eyes. "Steven. No. Please. I still love you! I always did. I ...with Ben it is different." Couldn't they just be together all of them? And before he could think about it he has spilled out that question._  
  
"Ohhh aren't you adorable?? How dare you, Andrew! How could you even...." He waves a hand out of the room where he suspects Benedicts bedroom. He takes a few quick steps towards Andrew, very close and their bodies nearly touch. He looks Andrew into the eyes, can feel his breath on the face. "I really hope that this was worth it. Because I don't want to do this anymore. I can't forget a second time with..." He tries to calm his breathing "I do not share what is mine." He says with a dangerous glare in his eyes "look at you, you nearly sparkle. I hope you enjoyed it." And with that he turns and leaves Andrew, bangs the door shut and disappears.  
  
 _Ten years. Ruined. Ten years of love, sweet promises, of stickig together through good and bad times. Gone. He had now really ruined it. The tears now ran down Andrews cheeks and a sob escaped his throat. What an idiot he was. How could he have kicked it all away for someone who probably didn't even love him. For someone he was just a friend to... When Ben enters the living room later he finds Andrew curling up as a ball on the couch, sobbing desperately, cursing himself_  
  
A loud talk wakes him from his dreams and when he feels that the place by his side was empty he stays up very quick. He opens his door when he hears the flatdoor shut with a loud sound and he walks to the lving room where he finds Andrew. No need to be Sherlock Holmes to know who he had talked to. He sits down front of the couch, strokes Andrews back and shushes him. He feels bad, this wasn't Andrews fault, and if he wouldn't have been there when Andrew had had his bad dream... Andrew might have been gone now, reunited with Steven. He felt a sudden pain in his chest when he thought about it, but he knows he has to talk to Steven. Tell him why... Of course he would spare his own feelings for he knows it would do nothing good. He gulps down the knot in his throat and speaks up "Tell me what he said, tell me what happened."  
  
 _Andrew shakes his head, rubbing his eyes with his fists. "It's not your fault. It's mine and i fear as much as it hurts it's probably for the better." He tries to put up a smile for Ben. "If you love two persons at the same time, choose the second because you would never have fallen for the second, if you had really loved the first - someone had said somewhen." He bites his lip, kneating his hands_  
  
A little moment passes by until Ben realizes what Andrews words mean. A lot of feelings rush of him but he was far too sensitive to just whirl Andrew around and kiss him over and over because he had no clue that Andrew feels more than just attracted to him. He just takes Andrews hands in his and kisses them. When another sob comes out Andrews mouth he pulls him into his arms, and rocks them back and forth "I know it hurts a lot, but you'll be fine. I'm here, and I'm looking after you."  
  
 _"But you're not even into men!" Andrew declares desperately. He breaks the hug and rans a hand through his already messed uo short hair and over his face. "Listen Ben, i'm sorry I .... Got into your life like this and probably made you do things and..."_  
  
"Stop it." Ben interrups Andrew before he could say something that hurts more then what he has even said. "You've done nothing wrong and of course we did nothing that I did not want to do with you. But guess I should say sorry. I shouldn't have done such things to you whilst you didn't know what to feel or think about your former relationship." He runs his hands through Andrews hair that rests into his neck, pulling his head against his chest.  
  
 _Andrew nuzzled into Ben, buring his face against the other. So it was over with him and Steven. And what would this new thing bring? But it felt so good being with Ben. This smell, he wanted to be with him. All the time. "I ...there are so many feelings for you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don´t worry ^^ not over yet....more to come


	10. Trip to the zoo

He remains silent for a second because he doesn't know how to say this without taking a few steps too far. They need time now, time to get used to the new situation, it would do nothing good if they would rush into something new precipitately. "Let me say this much, I really like you, Andrew and trust me, if there wouldn't be more than just friendship I wouldn't have done what we did last night. I just don't want us to rush now. You need some time to understand this new situation and when... you're ready we will talk about this properly." He kisses Andrews forehead and pulls him into his lap, holding him tight.

 

_Andrew nod and sits up again, clears his throat and rubs his arm over his nose. "Ok. Sounds good to me. Breakfast then? Ste- I mean, I heard I make the worst baked beans of entire London!"_

 

And again it was all about distraction, of course _now_ without the sexual component. He snorts and sits up, let Andrew climb out off his lap and stands up. He always likes days off and he was more than glad that he has some of them now, because Andrew needs him. He would distract the hell out of him. Reaching for his phone he dials and walks into another room, so that Andrew can't hear him. "Gillian? It's me. Benedict. Andrew is busy at the moment, but if you don't mind, I know that it's holiday time and we'd like to take Lucy into the zoo" When he gets back into the kitchen a little smile was still visible on his face. "Seems like someone lied to me, the smell is delicious!" He stood right behind Andrew and it costs him a lot of willpower not to run his hands over the soft skin of Andrews neck and shoulders.

 

_Distraction was something he could do well. Really well, for he had trained it ever since he was young. When Ben returned he had finished tea, toast and beans. Plus some eggs. It felt funny, standing in Ben's kitchen with not more than just an apron and the boxers. He turned to look at Ben, smiling faintly. "Thanks. I appreciate the lie."_

 

When they had finished their meal Ben sends Andrew under the shower to refresh and get ready for... what was it exactly what Ben has planned? Ben whistles therwhole way to the car, always smiling when Andrew tries to find out where they would go to. When they finally approach the zoo Lucy wasn't there, but they had to wait just a few minutes. He sends Andrew to buy the tickets and walks to the bus station to welcome Lucy.

 

_The shower felt good but then Ben had decided to drag him out go somewhere outside. He didn't feel like it though. Yet he joined him but his mood got worse when he saw their destination. The zoo? "Ben, really? Seriously? The zoo?"_

 

"Hellooooo Ben! I thought Andrew has left you, you've not been there when I visited you!" That lady knows what she wants and she wears the same reproachful look like her mother with the eyes of her dad. He offers her a hand "Sorry I missed our last meeting, that'll not happen again, I swear." A little moment of hesitation, but one could easily see that Lucy really likes Ben so she giggles and catches his hand "I ever wanted to go to this zoo, where is Andrew? I can't wait to see the pandas!!" Ben wears an angelic smile when he returned to Andrew, Lucy's hand in one and her backpack in the other. "Surprise~" his smile grows wider when he sees the puzzled look on Andrews face.

 

_"Luz! Hii sweatheart!" Andrew beams up, smiling and leaning down to hug his daughter. "Did Ben bring you here to surprise me? So that's why we're going to the zoo! Wanna see the pandas?"_

 

"Nah, mum did. She asked me if I want to see you and you want to go to the zoo and of course I want to go and can we go like now? "One could nearly taste Lucys impatience. So they visited them all: the pandas, the gorrilas, the giraffes, the crocodiles and finally Lucy has found the playground and some kids to play with, leaving Andrew and Ben on their own. They sit down on one of the banches and Ben throws a sideglance to Andrew, smiling "So... do you enjoy yourself?"

 

_"It's good spending time with my family now." Andrew smiled, throwing Ben a warm and loving smile. Lucy came over to them, showing them a shell she had found. Andrew laughed and hugged her, inspecting the shell with her. Just that moment someone snapped a picture somewhere and send it on. Some hours later, when they returned home, it was spread on the cover of "Evening standart": ANDREW SCOTT WITH CHILD AND BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH SEEN IN LONDON ZOO. SHERIYATI CHILDREN?_

 

Ben chuckles while holding the newspaper and reads loud "Sheriyati children? They should've done their homework better." He waves a hand over his face, and remains silent for a second. Eyes lowered to the ground "And now we have to watch out. Can you imagine what would happen when they get aware of the fact that you're spending your entire time with me at the moment?"

 

_Andrew nods. He was pale and his smile had died a while ago. Lucy was playing in the living room. "I am so sorry, Ben." He carefully looked out of the window. "They're here already." He said, pointing at some reporters waiting in front of Benedict's home. "Guess... Lucy and I can't leave now"_

 

"I'll call Gillian and tell her that Lucy has to stay for a day. They don't know that she is here, for there'd been no press when we arrived, but they always suspect. I'll leave the house tomorrow, pretend to visit a friend and you stay here. I'll call a taxi for Gillian to pick Lucy up and.." he looks over to Andrew, biting his lower lip "I'm afraid you'll have to stay for a bit longer. And don't go near the window." He turns to make the inevitable call and leaves Andrew on his own for a moment.


	11. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff between ~~ means it´s a flashback ^^

_Andrew sighed and stared at Lucy. "I'm ...sorry for her. I don't mind with the  press being all over me. Hate it. Yes. But I can't help it, that's the curse for being an actor. But I don't want her involved." When Ben left he hugs his legs and sighs, finally grabbing his phone, starting to text._  
 _> Did you get the press on us< he send to Steven. _  
_> Won't show up for a while, don't listen to the press. Love Andy< He send to his sister._  
  
>As always, what happened? Is the girl Benedicts child? I'd like you to explain when you're capable to see us again, love Hannah<   
Ben walks to the bathroom and grips the sink, looking down at it a good while. He looks at his phone when a message shows up >We'll have to talk. How about tomorrow? Don't tell Andrew. Steven< His answer was short >Of course, I think I can get rid of the press I think you have sent to us. When and where? B.< Storing his phone in the pocket again he walks back to the living room where Andrew waits already. Lucy seems a bit tired so he prepares their dinner. After the dinner when Lucy has told a few times that she wasn't that tired they decided that it would be better to continue their conversation in Ben´s bedroom. When they are finally in the room Ben closes the door behind them.  
  
 _Andrew leaves a cartoon running on the telly, hoping Lucy will fall asleep while watching and before remembering she should to go home. He had not answered his sister yet. Simply because he has no idea what to tell her. 'No, she is your niece' just wouldn't work. Especially considering how long his family needed to fully accept him being gay. In Ben's bedroom he sits down in the bed and huggs his legs. "So? Maybe I should just give an interview and tell them but also ask to leave her alone." He looks up at Ben. "Not of us of course. I mean...you were just there to help..or something"_  
  
Ben turns "I'll tell them we're babysitting the daughter of my best friend. She hasn't been in the press of course and he doesn't mind. I asked him." He walks over to the bed and sits down next to Andrew, his eyes fixed with the ceiling before he looks at Andrew "It'll be over soon. They'll loose their interest in us tomorrow. I'll meet an old friend of mine, she is an actor as well. We will go into a motel. They will forget about us very fast." No smile on his face, and searching for an emotion an Andrews face just tells him that his friend was tired and sick of the whole problems. He shifts and wraps and arm around Andrews shoulders "Everything's going to be alright. Just follow my former instructions and I'll have it all arranged."  
  
 _Andrew sighs and leans into Ben. "Sometimes i hate it, you know? All this hiding.. I want to go out, hold hands, go to a restaurent or something without having to hide. I guess that's why it became so difficult in the end. I wanted to shield Steven from all this but in the end it made us drift apart. And now you have to lie only to protect me and my problems. It 's unfair."_  
  
Ben closes his eyes and just enjoys the feeling of Andrews presence. When he opens them again he looks down to Andrew, right into his eyes "The prize of being a famous actor. I don't know if this is consolation enough but it'll fade. And everything's gonna be alright.." He hesitates before he continues, a bit quieter "I'm totally okay with doing those things if it's for you."  
  
 _"But it makes me feel...uneasy." Andrew sighs and leans more into the other. With a heavy sigh he gets up though. "I have to check on Luc.." He slowly walks out, finding his daughter fast asleep. With a faint smile he duggs her in a blanked and turns the telly off before retuning to Ben, leaving his clothes in the bathroom already. Naked he drops on the bed again, groaning, "When will we both have some time off again?"_  
  
Ben leans back with a faint smile on his face and turns to Andrew "Soon enough. I'll leave very early tomorrow for the 'date' Charlotte. And I have something to do after. I guess the driver will pic up Lucy in the afternoon. I'll hopefully return until 8 pm. Do you think you'll do fine here on your own?" His gaze wanders along Andrews naked body and he turns away to stand up and heads for the bathroom to get ready for the bed and to cool down a bit. The cold water was doing it so far and he reenters the bedroom.  
  
 _"Sure...i will read some screenplays in the meantime." He watches Ben leave for the bathroom and falls asleep before the other comes back._  
 _The next day he playes with Lucy until she is picked up and sits around thinking, brooding until Ben comes home. There are some phonecalls on his mobile but he ignores them all.._  
  
When Ben reenters the flat, the reporters haven't left the street and he sighs, bangs the door shut and heads for the living room where he suspects Andrew. He suspects right, Andrew is sitting on the couch, a script in his hands and he looks up when Ben enters the room. It feels like Andrew is thousands of miles away.  
  
  
~~He's a bit nervous when he left the cab that brought him to the bar that he doesn't know in the street he's never been in, but he squares his shoulders and walks in. A lot of smoke, a handful of people talking and noone seems to notice that someone new has turned up except a man sitting in the corner, arms crossed and looking directly into his direction. He walks towards him and stops in front of the table. "Steven, nice to see you again." he reaches out a hand to greet him.~~  
  
 _Andrew looks up at the key in the door. He had spend the whole afternoon reading scrips and even though he would never tell Ben he hates being locked in like this. Sure the news about Ben and that actor were in the papers but still the reporters had not gone yet, he hates it, plus he doesn't feel well since noon, feverish somehow,_  
  
 _~~ Steven does not even lift a hand. "Sit. I have to talk to you, Benedict." He waits until Ben is seated and stares at him. "We know each other ever since the Moriarty shootings started and you know how close Andy and I were. How can you just step between us like this?"~~_  
  
~~Ben sits back, one leg crossed over the other and he remains silent. After a while it seems like Steven wants to say something else, but Ben interrupts "You should have seen him, Steven. He was devastated, even hardly able to control himself. Do you know what you /did/ to him? He was told that he is the father of a child of a woman he had problems to get rid of like he told me, and of course I do understand you a bit, because there is no excuse for cheating on the partner, but you left him! Alone! He still cannot enter your flat because you shocked him. He called me of all! We weren't that close that I thought he would ever trust me with that but he did because he doesn't know where to go- do you understand what I want to tell you? You've broken him, his feelings, his heart." the calm voice in the first place gives place for a cold and joyless but still quiet one.~~  
  
 _~ Steven glares at Benedict. Quiet after listening what the other had said. "I was...so angry. So extremly angry. I couldn't look at him anymore. Each time I saw him with a woman... And it hurt so much. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I never wanted to hurt him but I feared I would hurt him if I stayed. He wanted to see that child. He wanted....to meet that woman. That hurt, you know?" Steven sighs and takes a sip of his drink. "So he ran to you...ok. But did you have to get seduced by him? I know it's hard to withstand but hell, I thought you were straight!"~~_  
  
~~Ben lets out a heavy sigh and sits back "I thought so, too. Until Andrew proved me wrong. You see, Steven - I really do. I mean I like him. I think you're not the person I want to talk to about my feelings right now. I will listen to Andrew, hear what he had to say and see listen to what he wants. And if that's me, then I won't stop this." A little smile appears on his face, he wasn't able to supress it. That happens a lot and it happened before he met Steven when he talked to Charlotte. Another proof of existent feelings then. He shakes his head, maybe not the best place or time to think about that "Besides, what are you thinking? Send the press to us? Andrew hates them! You know that bloody well."~~  
  
 _~~ Steven nods slowly. He too knows that smile all too well, he have had it himself all those years. When Ben mentions the press though he leans back, slightly offended. "I would NEVER send the press on Andy's neck! Seriously. I know how much he hated it. I don't want him any more harmend than i already did!" He frowes. "You think that child's mother might have? I mean, it sure would make a big headline and she could make money out of it... No offense but it's just an idea." He finishes his glas and got up. "I have to go now. Ring me, when Andrew....decided."~~_  
  
~~Ben got up when Steven finished his glass "I think Andrew should tell you by himself. He owes you that for you'd been in a relationship so many years. So don't worry. But know this - and no offense, you know me and I've always liked you - but I don't want you to hurt Andrew again. Think about what you say to him. I won't let him be that heartbroken again, if it's up to me. " He turns and leaves for the flat, deep in his thoughts. Maybe noone has send the press and they just happen to be there because.. They are famous and someone recognized them. Anyway - he needs to see Andrew again. 10 minutes until 8pm and he had make sure he would be at home.~~  
  
 _Andrew looks up and smiles at Ben. "Hi." He gets up and blinks, feeling dizzy suddenly. He stumbles a few steps and falls into Ben's arms. Quickly he straightens himself. "Sorry..just..sat too much." He says. He frowns and forces a smile on his lips. He didn't feel well at all_  
  
"So you've been up the whole time? Everythings alright with Gillian and Lucy?" He crosses the room to get rid of the warm clothes and reappears in short pants and a tshirt. Andrew hasn't answered him and he looks over, a bit confused. "Hey, Andrew. Are you alright?" He walks over and when he gets aware of Andrews flushed cheeks and the glazed eyes he touches his forehead "You're hot! Are you getting ill?"  
  
 _Andrew leans against Ben and nuzzled his neck. "I am fine...just so warm in here. I...will get us something to drink." He gets up and stumbles, feeling dizzy. He sinks back on the couch, panting, "it's nothing, I just sat around too much."_  
  
"Don't move." Ben stands up very fast and heads for the bathroom. A few seconds later he returns with a clinical thermometer and kneels down in front of Andrew. He hands it to him, he won't treat him like a child but he wants to test his temperature. "Please, do me the favour. I want to know"  
  
 _Andrew sighs faintly and took the thermometer, placing it in his mouth. "I'm fine. Really. I just don't do well with,,.weather changes." After a moment he took it out and checked the thermometer. Groaning. "It must be broken,."_  
  
Ben sits next to Andrew, looking at him in earnest. "I always knew you'd be a workaholic dear Andrew but you need rest. You can't risk your health for that new play. I'll help you recover - and you'll feel like you're reborn. " He touches his forehead again, it was hot. And with a glimpse on the thermometer that said 104,5 degrees what was alarming hot he was convinced Andrew was really getting ill. He walks to the bedroom to prepare it for a healthy sleep, wet towels and heads for the bathroom again to fetch everything for leg compresses. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see that Andrew tries to move again and he walks over quickly to steady him on his feet. "This isn't just a little cold, Andrew. Listen, you have to rest."  
  
 _Andrew snorts "I am fine. I can go and I can work... I just ...don't like being locked up" he confesses. "It makes me ..scared." His eyes fluttered shut and suddenly his full bodyweight sinks into Ben's arms as he looses consiousness._


	12. Doubts

 

 

Before Andrew hits the ground Ben stops his fall. He wraps an arm arm around Andrews shoulder and one around his knees and picks him up. He walks to the bed and lays him down carefully. Andrews skin was nearly burning and his breathing wasn't regulary. He sits down at the bed, tries to focus on his motions and not on his concern and puts a cold wet cloth on Andrews forehead and one in his neck. Andrew groans in discomfort and shivers and Ben covers him with the sheets. "I'm sorry... So sorry, love."

 

_Vivid dreams move before Andrews eyes. Dreams about the press ruining their lives, ruining Ben and annoying him to no end, leaving him dead in the end. Drams about steven dying because they broke up. Dreams about Lucy being dragged away from him forever. And Ben... Again and again Ben. Leaving him. Hating him. Loving him but there his face suddenly changed into someone else's and Andrew wakes up with a cry. Panting heavily he looks around, trying to focus and remember where he was_

 

Ben had been there the whole time, had only left to get ready for bed. He would sleep next to Andrew, despite what everyone would say about the risk of infection. He changes the cloth from time to time when it gets too warm and he when Andrew moves and mumbles something he caresses his cheek, holds his hands and that worked well for some time but deep in the night Andrew awakes with a sobbed cry and Ben, who has drifted to sleep before, rolls over to calm him "You're alright, I'm with you. It's only a dream." He squeezes the hand he was still holding lightly and feels Andrews forehead, he was still feverish but not /that/ hot.

_Andrew pants and sinks against Ben's chest. "You're not dead, that's good..." He whispers, his voice hoarse. He closes his eyes again and drifts off into sleep some more, waking the next morning, Feeling a lot better. He slips out of Ben's arms and sneaks into the kitchen, prepairing breakfast. He doesn't have much memory of the last day, but it had not happened for the First time, so he doesn't bother._

 

When Ben finally awakes the bed was empty and he gets up with a sigh, of course Andrew wouldn't rest. Coming into the kitchen shows him that Andrew prepares breakfast for them and he leans against the doorframe. Andrew hasn't noticed him yet and he smiles, watching, before he said something "You're feeling better, then?" And he walks over to him and got him into a tight embrace. He really needs Andrew to be close right now, to smeell his scent and to feel his skin against his own. "Seems you've had some nightmares? Do you want to talk about it?"

 

_Andrew turns and smiles at Ben angelically. He nuzzles his neck and gives it a few light kisses. "I can't remember much. I was sick, right? Happens sometimes. Don't worry." He does remember about the pain on loosing Ben in thr dream though but he doesn't say, hiding a painful face. Smiling up again he points at the table. "I made irish breakfat!"_

 

"Oh, that looks delicious! We'll have the best start into the day." When they sit down to eat Ben shoots Andrew some analyzing looks from time toi time. It really seems like he felt better. But they need to get out and spend some time out of the flat. He has several ideas but he wanted to ask Andrew first. "So, anything planned for today? Have something in mind?"

 

_Andrew barely eats, just sipping his coffee. His stomach doesn't feel well because of the vivid image of a dead Ben in his arms. When the other speaks up he blinks. "Eh, nothing, the reporters are still outside. I cannot leave here."_

 

"They'll be gone in a while. I'll leave the flat and walk a bit. They'll follow me and that's when you can leave the flat." They're cleaning the table and Ben got ready to leave for his second 'date' with Charlotte. "Just text me where you are and I'll get rid of the press and meet you there" He smiles and looks at Andrew again. That look on his face, like he had seen a ghost or something... a second later he holds Andrew in his arms again "Tell me" and when Andrew said nothing he adds a serious sounding "Please."

 

_Andrew groans and cings to Ben. "No. No i don't want all that shit. It ruined too much. I want to go out there. With you. I ... You were in my arms. You were dead...bleeding. You were hurt so much all because of me." He presses his face against Ben's chest and inhales deeply. Then he pushes him away, clearing his throat. "Okay. Get ready for Charlotte."_

 

After a little hesitation he steps forward again, but saves some space for Andrew to walk away if he wants. "Andrew. Listen to me, please." He holds one of his soft hands and draws little circles on the back of it with his thumb "You've done nothing wrong. None of that is your fault. And if you wonder if I would be better without you I can only say that you enrich my life, day by day. I really.. you mean so much to me. Everything I do if it's for you I'll do without hesitation and I do not regret it. Not a single thing that happened between us." God, he really wants to kiss him now, but there was this decision that Andrew has to make and he doesn't want to affect it, he doesn't want Andrew to regret his choice later.

 

_Andrew looks up to Ben, thinking. This could be it. Perfect life. Yet it could also bear so much trouble. Both of them being torn apart while filming. For weeks or months. Both of them having to party with others. Both of them...having to lie about their relationship. It had been easier with Steven. So much easier. But then again Steven have had problems to understand him. That could be easier, for Ben is the same. Does he want this? Now? Andrew closes his eyes and gets on tiptoes to kiss Ben's lips._

 

The kiss takes him by surprise first but he closes his eyes and kisses Andrew back, pulls him closer and wraps his arms around Andrews waist. It felt like coming home from a long trip and he kissed his lips, his cheeks, his neck and rest his head on Andrews shoulder. He feels like he wants to say it. Now. Tell everyone that this man in front of him is the person he wants to spend his life with. But still.. he doesn't know if Andrew would want this. And of course it would cause loads of trouble for both of them. He looks into Andrews eyes and it hits him again, beautiful. He steals another kiss from Andrews lips and whispers "I have to go now, promise me that we'll meet later."

 

_Andrew moans slightly under the shower of Ben's kisses. He clings to him and kisses him back, barely able to hold back to just undress him. "No. We both go. Just...casually leaving the house. We're friends to them. Let them write about that."_

 

The flash of the cameras was really disturbing and Ben just fakes a smile when he finally separates from Andrew and they head into different directions. The cab with Charlotte in it was already waiting and he got in, kisses her on the cheek and was gone. He knew that this couldn't go on, he knew he had to tell them - and of course Charlotte knew that already because the look she gave him when he looks back to Andrew who was walking along the street speak volumes. She just smiles and says "Oh, you'll break the heart of millions of women all around the world when you tell the press about your new partner." It makes him laughs and the meeting itself really cheers him up. They went for a restaurant and talked the whole time through, not loud enough for anyone to hear but about everything. From time to time he looks at his phone, waiting for Andrew to text him.

 

_Andrew digs his hands into the pockets of his pants and walks down the street, trying to ignore the cameras flashing first at them both and then just on benrdict. Sure. He was the more famous one. He would destroy so much for him if they'd go public. He couldn't do that. Biting his lip andrew hurried down, picking a taxi to drive to his sister's place. He needed Hannah's advice now. She was the one who always and without any doubts had believed in him._

 

~

Hannah opens the door a bit late "Sorry Andy, the cake is nearly ready! Just a second!" She hurried into the kitchen again and yells out of if "You can get rid of your coat and shoes and sit on the new couch, it's really comfortable." The couchtable was covered with teadishes and candles, just the cake was missing - but before Andrew had the time to sit down properly Hannah appears and puts it on the table. She sighs dramatically and turns to Andrew. "So! Here we are! It's very good to see you" She hugs him very tight and kisses him on the cheek.

_Andrew loves his little sister. She was a lot younger than him - by nine years and so lifely. He also liked how she wanted to follow his steps, coming to London and persuing the career of an actress. He slipped out of his shoes ans sat down on the couch. "Wrong moment? You're expecting someone? I can leave again, Han"_

 

"Oh don't you dare! I'm not expecting someone - that's just for you. I thought you'd like it" She makes a face and sits down on the opposite side of him. "I thought you could need some cheering up. Is that right?" She looks at him, obviously not wanting to push him.

 

_Andrew sighs and smiles at her. "Thanks but how come you knew i would show up?" Sometimes she was a little weird, this irish woman, but that made her just all more lovely. "I need an advice of you, Hannah." He says seriously_

 

"Oh please, Andy! I know you for some time now. You've always visited me when something happened." She remains silent when he gave her that look and said carefully "I hope I can help you with that."

 

_And so Andrew starts to talk. Starting by Gillians call with his break up with Steven and ending by his sick day yesterday and this morning's happening. "And now I have no idea what do to. I....think I love him but ...it would ruin so so much."_

 

Hannah opens his mouth. closes it. Looks down. And when she looks up her eyes glistens with tears "Andrew.. You - you are a father. That makes me an aunt! And.. Oh dear." She collects his thoughts and lets out a little huffed laugh "There was a time, one year ago, when I thought you and Steven would break up- the way you two behaved.. and the way he treats you. back then and now." She looks away and back, continues her talking while she spins her cup of tea "I don't want to tell you what you have to do now, but I'll say something. I think you need someone you can rely on, someone to support you. And don't get me wrong, Steven was a good boyfriend, but he left you when you needed him the most. And - I know Benedict from a play, maybe you remember that. And he was kind and all, I really like him. If you think, that he is the right person - so be it. But don't get too fast." She smiles and touches his hand "Despite all that you really need some time to enjoy yourself. And I think, feelings aside, that's what Ben could give you."

 

_Andrew nods slowly. He pulls out a photo of Lucy and shows it to her. "Next time you have to meet her. She reminds me so much of you. All chatty and so cute. " He sips a bit of the tea, again not eating. "I think .... I don't think .. I just /feel/ that. I need him. He gives me strength. Comforts me. And yes, he 's awesome." Hs eyes shine as he speaks of Ben but then a shadow falls over it. "But he's world famous now. Being seen too much with me...could bring rumours and i don't want him ...destroyed by the press."_

 

Hannah sits back, a smile appears on her face "Andrew, world famous means nothing when it comes to real emotions. If he reciprocates your feelings he won't care. And of course you two would go public. Not like you and Steven. " And with a brighter, teasing smile she adds "..and you'll break loads of hearts. All the women, and you break my heart, too! I thought I'd have serious chances!"

 

_Andrew glares down at her. "I would not even once allow you to go out with Benedict. You're my little sister and you are worth the best of the best - next to me, of course." He leans over and kisses her cheek. "I think i should meet with him now..." He reaches for his phone. >Meet me in half an hour. Hyde park?<_

 

"Just joking. " She bites her lower lip and goes up. "If you need someone to talk or somewhere to stay - you can call me anytime. I'll be there for you if you need me!" She goodbyes him warmly when Andrew left her flat.


	13. Sushi

 

 

Ben walks though the Hyde park with Charlotte, she has her arm linked with his as she often does ad tells him about her last stay in the US when Ben received Andrews message. His face enlightened and she smiles at him. "I think you'll meet Andrew soon, Charlotte. If that's okay for you. And the press is gone anyway." He stops to type a message for Andrew >Sure, I'm already here, where shall I wait for you? Near speakers corner? -Ben<

_Andrew writes back an agreement and gets ready to leave. "Thanks, Sis." He gives her another kiss on the forehead. Seeing Ben with a woman is a sight that somehow mades his stomach cringe, even though he had barely eaten this day. "Hi there." He says, lifting a hand clumsily_

 

"..and when I got back I found the script. Under the towel. .." Ben listens to Charlottes chatter until he could see Andrew walking towards them. He smiles and draws Charlottes attention to him. She smiles knowingly but does't say anything. She lets go of Bens arm and shakes Andrews hand "Hi Andrew, I'm Charlotte. It's nice to meet you. " Ben hugs Andrew slightly and turns to Charlotte but before he could say anything she interrups them "I'm sorry but I have to leave now, but it was nice. Thank you Ben, as always. I'll tell Wanda that you're alright. See you soon." She kisses him on the cheek and leaves with a goodbye for Andrew and the promise she'd call soon. Ben waves a hand and turns to Andrew, touching his hand lightly with his "So, you talked to Hannah?"

 

_Andrew smiles politely and returns her chitchat, glad that she leaves quickly. Turning to Ben he rolls his eyes. "Don't go Sherlock on me, Ben. How do you know?" He felt the urge to take Ben's hand but instead digged them into his pockets. "Whereto now?"_

Ben laughes and walks a part of the way "She texted me. I gave her my number ages ago when we've been in this play together." He smiles at Andrew "As if your Moriarty isn't showing up sometimes Mr. Scott." He pokes him in the side. "How about dinner? I can cook something for you this time."

 

_"What did she text?" Andrew glares at Ben. "You didn't flirt with my babysister, didn't you?" He looks around. "Can't we get some sushi? And I'm by far jot as much Moriarty as you are Sherlock, Sherlock!" He chuckles and looked at Ben, his face turning stoic suddenly as he saw someone over Ben's shoulder. "Fangirls right behind you," he whispers._

 

Ben smiles weirdly "Of course I haven't. But I really like her, she is nice." Ben didn't turn and walks past Andrew, touching his arm "Pretend you haven't seen them. Let's walk over to the cabs at the other side of the park. We'll stop at a you me Sushi for you"

 

_Andrew nods and walks with Ben, cursing the other for his long legs. They slid in the cap and Andrew told him the nearest 'you me Sushi"_

_After picking up a bunch of sushi and giving some autographs Andrew slipps back into the cap to Ben. "I want home now.“_

 

"Obviously." Ben takes the bag from Andrew and they paid the Driver some Money for a fast ride home. Coming through the door he could see that the red light of his telephone was on. 6 missing calls. All coming from Wanda/Timothy home. He sighs and clicks the button. '*kkrrrrk* Benedict? I know you have some days off, Charlotte called me today and I'd like to talk to you. So please call when you're home' -- 'Benedict, it's me again, please call. I've seen some Pictures in the newspaper and want to talk to you.' .. He walks through the flat, looking for the phone and throws Andrew an annoyed look "She's seen the Pictures with Lucy I guess. Charlotte might have told her that we're not a couple but she didn't tell her about you." He walks to the bedroom "I'll be back soon, just tell her the neccesary things."

_Andrew's mood to place the Sushi on a naked Ben and eat it off of him fades really quickly when he hears Ben's mom. "I'm sorry", he mouths. He sat down on the living room, not hungry anymore. He sighed and watched the bedroom door._

 

When Ben returns to the living room, Andrew was sitting on the Couch again. He hadn't told her about his Feelings for Andrew, he just mentioned that he was a friend who Needs help and lives with him at the Moment, the Child was his and he did just go out with Charlotte to Show the press something to distract them from Lucy. He walks to the window and Looks out. when he turns to Andrew again, a bright smile appears on his face "Guess we're free again - no press anymore"

 

_"Good. What did your mom say?" Andrew asks and looks up. He tries to pull up a smile. "Don't get into trouble, cuz of me, okay?" He waits till Ben sits down next to him. He leans into the other, nuzzling his neck., while his hand slides under Ben's Shirt, stocking over his back. "Aren't you hungry?"_

 

Ben smiles and wraps an arm around Andrew to draw him closer "She says hello and added that she wants to meet you if you're still here when she visits again." He bows his head to the side to give Andrew better access t his neck. His skin tingles where Andrew strokes his skin. Decisions, right. Andrew decides what he wants, Ben knows what he wants, and that was obviously the person sitting next to him, so - if Andrew would try to seduce him he would give in. He doesn't count this as foul play, not at all. He turns his head, his face now just a few centimeters away and looks him deeply into his eyes "Not that much. But..." He picks up a piece of the carrot and brings it close to Andrews mouth "..if you'd feed me I'd not mind at all"

 

_"Doesn't it feel weird?" Andrew asks suddenly. "You're used to fair and soft skin. Women skins. And now me....with my strubble and...I don't you miss it? Breasts to touch and all that stuff?" He takes the carrot and munches it, instead of giving it over, but he moves and slides on Ben's lap, facing him. "I'm not even light weighted like all those girls..."_

 

Ben leans back to watch Andrew settle himself on his lap and slungs his arms around him. The next would be very important and he wants to give Andrew the chance to look at him and see that he means what he says "Andrew, if you want to ask if I'm sure about this, about us, I can just repeat what I said earlier. You're a wonderful person, with a good character and a good heart and you're /beautiful/. There is nothing to miss and no need for you to have so less self-confidence. And I couldn't care less about someones weight. It#s not important to me. I found what I've been searching for - here" he touches the middle of Andrews chest, biting his lip, a wave of joy floating through his body. Yes. That's what he wants, him, them.

 

_Andrew smiles and leans into Ben, nuzzing his cheeks with his whiskers. "That's the cutest ...nicest thing someone said to me." He chuckled. "And Steven vould be really mush if he was in the mood". He leans back a bit to look into Ben's eyes beforeclosing his own and giving him a soft kiss. Just lightly. Lips touching, caressing._

 

Ben gives into the kiss, his eyes flutters shut and he caught Andrew lips in another kiss, caressing his neck lightly. he smiles when he hears a rumble from Andrews stomach "Seems like someone wants some food." he runs his hands under Andrews shirt and caresses Andrews stomach, running little circles with his fingertips

 

_Andrew smiles and leans into Ben. "Share?" He asks, sliding off Ben and opens the Sushi Box. He quickly prepaired the chopsticks, gari and sojasauce the holds out a maki roll for Ben. "Or don't you like Sushi?"_

 

Ben sits back "Of course I like sushi, are there people who don't? But if we share I still want to feed you" He stands up and walks to the kitchen "Woulde you like a drink, Sir?" He leans against the doorframe and watches Andrew, licking his lips

_"Sure..."Andrew says, chewing on the Maki himself. He sat up and turned to Ben. He would rather start out with dessert first....munching a little on Benedict... But he guessed that had to wait. He wanted Ben to make the moves. He didn't want to force him into this kind of contact - yet_

 

Ben picks up a roll of the sushi and brings it to Andrews mouth. He was deep in thoughts and didn't recognize that Ben tries to feed him, Ben smiles and tips the piece against Andrews lips lightly "Andrew? Where are you?"

 

_Andrew twitches and turns his head, getting some rice on his nose. "Nowhere.....only with you." He adds with a smile, wiping his nose. He opens his mouth and let Ben feed him, watching the other. "You want to be a father..." He mumbles with full mouth_

 

At first he wonders why Andrew comes with this of all situations to ask that detail of him but then he could make the connection and smiles "Always said so, yes. But that's not why I want to feed you. This is more because it's got something... intimate."

 

_Andrew tilts his head."Wha...? No! I-I meant i ..with me you can't be a father. I mean...yes, there's Lucy but she is not your blood." He snuggles more against Ben, needing the physical contact now_

 

"Sooo.. You're saying..." He caresses Andrews neck with his fingertips, stroking the soft skin and leaving goosebumps where he scratches a bit over it. "...that you want this - us - to work and you want to be with me. Is that right?" He turns Andrew, because he wants him to look him into the eyes, to see that he was confident with his decision. And he knew that the time has come to make confessions, to reveal what was on his heart. "Because if it's that what you're trying to say to me, Andrew my answer would be: yes. I want you in my life as long as you want me in yours because I love you. "


	14. Hurry up!

 

_Andrew watches Ben while the other talks, forced to look into his eyes but also because he wants to. He slowly, carefully nods. Yes, that's what he wants. Being with Ben. That's all he wants from the day on they had first met on Setlock. His heart had known it already then. When Ben speaks on his eyes widened and he opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Tears dwell up in his eyes and he just wrapps his arms around Benedict's neck, buring his face into his shoulder. "I love you too" he whispers, almost choking on the words._

 

When he feels Andrews arms around his neck it felt like revelation and he sighs out of relief, carefully holding a gift n his arms, the one he had been searching for so long. He could feel Andrew tremble in his lap and tries to calm him. The kiss that follows their confession was mind-blowing. When Andrews soft and pliant lips meet his own he could barely supress a relieved moan. It was a soft, long passionate kiss, that could last forever.

 

_Ben's lips are so soft, so moist and warm. He want to taste them forever. Their tongues tangles and dance, touching, feeling and exploring the other. He only breaks the kiss for quick gasps of breath before he continues, his hands roaming over Ben's chest, through his hair, over his back while his hips more against him. "I love you, I love you, I love you.." He whispers into the kisses._

 

He could feel a little joyful laugh running up his throat and he couldn't hold it back. There they are and he doesn't want them to stop, not tonight, not ever. His tongue plays with Anews again to silence him, because he doesn't know if he would be capable of hearing those words again without takng Andrew now and here. His hands explore Andrews back and he slips them under Andrews shirt to feel as much skin as possible. He kisses Andrew with a passion that belongs to lovers only and moans when he felt Andrew pressing his body against his. Okay, maybe this wasn't the time to take things slow. He needs to feel Andrews skin against his. Needs to kiss and taste and just /feel/ him.

 

_Andrew moans into the kiss, his hands slipping under Ben's shirt, almost ripping it from the other's body. He wants him now. Right now and here. He wants to feel him. Everywhere. Roughly his hands start to struggle with the belt and buttons of Ben's pants, opening it. Damned underwear. It takes them just some moments though to get naked and Andrew mounts Ben again, his lips close to the others ears. "Hurry..." He moans. "Please...I want you. Now."_

 

Just a few blinks and Andrew gets the both of them naked and he doesn´t tell him to stop, he kisses from his mouth over his cheeks to his neck and sucks at it lightly, nipping the others' skin. It tastes like promises of love and passion. His eyes wander over Andrews naked body and his pupils a blown wide, god he really wants him, but he wants to spare them an aching back the next day. He stood up in a swift move and pulls Andrew up with him, one arm tightly wrapped around his hip. He walks them both to the bed, barely throwing Andrew down and climbs on top of him, kissing him passionately, stroking the soft skin of his belly and moves his hand to Andrews thigh, scratching over the skin and parting Andrews legs with the other hand, never losng the eye contacts

 

_Andrew chuckles at Ben pulls him up and guides them to the bedroom. Not a man for other places to fuck, hm? Well, he would teach Ben later. Now he just wants him. Quickly. Maybe for the second...or third time tonight. His eyes half closed he enjoys Ben's soft ministrations to his skin, willingly spreading his legs and wrapping the, around Ben's waist. "Hurry up, will ya?"_

 

"Little bit impatient?" Ben smiles against Andrews neck and humms in satisfaction when he finally wraps his fingers around Andrews erection, stroking him slowly, teasing. With the other hand he takes himself in the other hand and starts to work his hand up and down in the same rhythm. Right, hurry. He guides his member to Andrews entrance, smearing the precum all over it and reaches for the lube in the drawer next to his bed. His impatience causes his hands to shake but he manages to slick his member and positions over Andrew again and whispers a soft 'I love you' against his Lips.

 

_"Yes, damnit. We can be slow later on!" Andrew groans, his voice full of passion. He wants Ben. So much. A slight hiss leaves his lips when Ben enters him, a soft curse slipping. "Damn you're big...carefull." But actually it was he himself pushing down until Ben was filling him completely, stretching him. He groaned and moaned, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensational feelings running up his spine. "So damn good..."_

 

Ben can't hold himself from moving his hips "nnnh.. God, Andrew.. Sooo gooood" he gets a tight grip of Andrews lef leg and puts in on his shoulder to get better access. He sets a quick pace, holding himself up with one arm. He really loves Andrews face when it shows this state of excitement, full with lust and struggle to come, he does that funny lip-biting-thing that he likes very much and turns him on to no end. He won't last long tonight, so full of love and longing for the other one and an erotic moan followed by a filthy "god, you're so tight" left him when he holds himself back from coming, he wants Andrew there with him, near by the edge, ready to go over board.

 

_Benedict's voice is already deep when he speaks but his sex voice is just so...so damn erotic, Andrew can't really think anything. Every mon of the other, every tiny noise and naughty little word gets him closer, together with his wonderful thing moving in and out of his ass. He feels this tingle in his back, feels himself tighten around Ben. Just one more touch, one more move would do the trick. His head falls back and his eyes closes in lust as he moans out Ben's name_

 

With Andrews keens and moans, the rapid movement of Andrews body, the sweaty skin on skin and their kissing, Ben wasn't able to hold himself back from coming anymore. His eyes squeeze shut and he threw his head back and moans Andrews name on and on, spilling himself deep in Andrews body.

 

 _Andrew follows shortly after, squeezing Ben´s cock into him and falling onto the other´s chest, panting heavily. He nuzzled Benedict´s chest and neck during the aftermath, kissing and nibbling on him. When he feels softened Ben slipping out of him he moves next to him, reaching for Ben´s cock and slowly starts stroking him_.

 

Ben tries to catch his breath though the aftermass, kissing Andrew back and moans when Andrew starts to work his spent erection "Can't get enough of this, huh?" He nuzzles his nose into Andrews neck and pulls him closer, stroking his back and watches Andrews actions, his lower lip between his teeth.

_Chuckling Andrew kisses Ben´s earlope, tugging on it lightly. "No. I can´t get enough of it. I want to touch you...all the time. Feel you. Have you next to me." He slips down a bit, giving Ben´s slowly growing back erection a kiss and a little suck before he crawls back up, snuggling into him, staring at him. "I never thought we could end up like this. You were so.... straight when we met, yet I fell for you right away, knowing I couldn´t have you. And now... I have you all in my hand!" he said, smirking and giving Ben´s member a small tug._

 

Ben smiles, listening to Andrews little speech and his smile ebbed just a bit when he ended. He could see Stevens reproachful face, he could see the days back on the set when Steven kisses Andrew goodbye and waves his hand at him, he remembers Andrews smile then and he could feel a little sting in his chest. No, he didn't steal him away. He'd never planned things to went this far, yet they did and he was glad. Not only glad, he was happy, he was lucky to have Andrew by his side. And he really loves him, no excuses. He knew there would be difficulties when they decide to go public, it will even affect their jobs, nogt only their private lifes. And yet he doesn't know how to explain his love for Andrew to the others. He sighs, enough of the burried-deep-in-thought-state, the next look into Andrews eyes brought him back to where they were and his heart nearly flows over of all the love, the lust and the longing he could see in those deep dark eyes and feel when he kisses Andrews lips passionately. "I love you, so damn much"

 

_Andrew nuzzles him and laughs softly. "I love you too. so damn fucking much!" he sits up and runs a hand through his messy hair. "I ... you´re worried about going public, aren´t you? Well, we need not to. But...it would be nice not to hide from everyone." he slips one leg over Ben´s trying to get in as much physical contact as he can. His member presses against Ben´s hip. "Can we maybe start with telling Martin and Amanda?" he asks, running his hand through Ben´s dark curls._


	15. New Territories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for implied Johnlock ^^,

  
  
    "The thing is: I want us to go public. But we have to consider the consequences, Andrew. It's not just like we just got our family to bear with, it's the agency and the public as well." He feels how Andrew stiffens and he could nearly hear his thoughts and they hurt him as always, so he pulls him closer, running a hand through his hair to his cheeks and caresses them slightly with his thumb "..and no, I do not regret it. And I'm not going to keep this a secret because everyone wants me to be straight. I know what I want and that's you. Let's just tell our family first, right? You've already made a start with Hannah." He kisses Andrew on his lips through his talking, knowing the other needs this as much as he does. "..And of course we can tell Martin and Amanda, ermm.." he clears his throat and a little blush could be seen on his cheeks as he continues "..you might remember what I told you about my experiences with other men? The one and only time I tasted the waters?"  
  
 _Andrew nods slowly, sitting up and then suddenly realization hit him. With a loud laugh he his Ben´s arm - hard. "YOU LITTLE BASTART FUCKED WITH THE HOBBIT?" he bursts out laughing. "Does Amanda know or did she even join in?" he adds chuckling. Wiping his eyes he makes himself more comfortable, still a smutty grin on his face. "You naughty little Bennyboy! how was he? Good? Give me all the dirty details!"_  
  
    "Ouch! Andrew! That hurts!" He smiles awkwardly and stricktly looks at the ceiling "I can't talk about that! And of course Amanda didn´t but she gave him permission. We're friends, still. And Martin and I.. we haven't had sex. We just took a long bath in their pool and had a heated make-out. It just nearly ended up badly. But we both stopped before it." His smile grows wide "We laughed for nearly half an hour after that." He leans back and pulls Andrew on top of him, kissing his jaw and neck passionately "It's been different... And it's different with you. everything's different with you, and I like different."  
  
 _Andrew smirks and his hands slowly runs over Benedict´s body. "So you made out in a pool. In a whirlpool. As in what? Giving each other a handjob? Watching each other masturbate? Or even a blowjob?" he asked curiously. His hand runs over Ben´s tigh and stroks it. He know how the other likes that. His leg which is still draped over Ben´s legs inches between them and pulls them apart while his hand moves down and strokes over the clef of Ben´s buttocks. "Means you´re still a virgin here?" he says with a low, evil Moriarty voice._  
  
    "You won't give up asking, will you?" Ben smirks and flinches when he felt Andrews hand that runs over his ass. It was that Moriarty voice that chills him and he could feel the little hairs on his arm standing up as a reaction to his words. "I.. we.. It was all kissing and touching.." He clearly avoids to answer Andrews question, and swallows when he felt Andrew moving on him, pulling his legs further apart.  
  
 _Andrew moves between Ben´s legs, tugging and pocking Ben until he will turn around to lay on his belly. Andrew sits down on his legs and runs both hands over Ben´s butt, kneading and massaging it. He leans down, kissing him just above the clef, a little up the spine and down again, spreading his globes apart, he ran his tongue over the rim. "Want to know how it feels?" he asks, his voice a lustfilled whisper._  
  
    Ben moans and shoots Andrew a look back, well, no avoiding then. "Do I have a choice?" a lustful smile plays around his lips when he sinks back on the cushions "I trust you. You won't hurt me." Of course he knew Andrew won't. But there was a little voice in his head, telling him that this was insane and he would've never let that happen and of course it would hurt, but he doesn't listen to it. His face turns to Andrew so he can watch his actions. At least a bit. "I'm yours as well as you are mine."  
  
 _"I would never hurt you", Andrew whispers. Mostly he was on the receiving part in his relationship with Steven but now and then he had wanted to be on top and he had enjoyed it._  
 _He leans down again, kissing and rimming him, his tongue flickering around his hole. His pulled Ben up a bit, reaching around him and gives Ben´s cock a few strokes. "Just relax", he whispers, moistening his index finger with salvia and runs it over the hole, just slightly pressing against it. He wants Ben to relax and get used to the feeling first._  
  
    He really tries to lay still and let Andrew handle him but he couldn't stop his thoughts and he could barely get enough air into his lungs when Andrew pressed a finger inside. It just felt... strange. And uncommon. He pants and shifts a bit when Andrew presses deeper into him, biting on his lower lip and squeezing his eyes shut. "Please...go ahead." They last word was spoken out with a painful moan at the edge when Andrew moves inside of him. God, he had no idea it would feel that strange. He can't even decide if it felt good or if it just hurts.  
  
 _Andrew makes sure he keeps his finger moist, using lots of the lubricant Ben had used on him earlier. Slowly he pushes the finger in and out, moving and wriggling it inside until he is sure Ben has gotten used to it and loosen up enough for him to enter another finger. He strokes over the other´s inside walls, his nails slightly scratching but always making sure he wouldn´t hurt him. His other hand keeps fumbling with Ben´s cock, his mouth busy placing soft kisses on his buttocks from time to time. "How does it feel, beloved?" he asks, his voice thick with lust. His own member was hard and dripping but he had to wait. Maybe not even tonight. maybe another night._  
  
    "Feels weird.. I feel.. oh Andrew I want you.." His cock twitches when he felt Andrew brushing over his prostate and he moves himself back on Andrews fingers. Another look back at his lover convinced him of his longing, he would give him what he wants, he could do that. Moving his legs further apart he gives Andrew better access "Please..." his voice was just a begging whisper.  
  
 _"Shhhh...." Andrew whispers. He couldn´t just yet. Maybe another time. He wasn´t as big as Ben but still  a bit bigger than just two of his small fingers. Ben would need to loosen up just some more and get more used to it. That would involve some more times like this. He keeps brushing and scratching over Ben´s prostate, his other hand tightening around each stroke. He wouldn´t hold on for long now anymore._  
  
    "Aaah, Ooohhh.. Andrew just like that.." He moves his hips against the sheets for more friction, his moans grew louder when Andrew hits his prostate again and again and he could feel his orgasm building up and he can't stop it now. "Close... God, Andrew I need to come, please.." he begged again. The two fingers moving in him doesn't feel strange anymore and when he imagines them to be Andrew cock he couldn't hold it any longer and comes for the second time this evening with a shuddered load moan, stretching his back.  
  
 _Andrew smiles as Ben comes into his hand and onto the sheets. He gives him some more strokes and then slowly withdraws, his fingers slipping out slowly. He kisses Ben´s butt a few times and then sinks into the sheets next to him, still painfully erect but he ignores that and snuggles against Ben. "Did I hurt you?"_  
  
    He felt dizzy through the aftershock and pants heavy when Andrew cuddles up against him. He smiles a bright smile "You're impossible. But why did you stop?" He turns to lay on his side and looks down at Andrews erection. He would definitely get what he deserves to say the better. He kissed Andrew slowly, nibbling his lower lip and his hand wanders down to Andrews erection, starting with slow but firm strokes. He brings his mouth near to Andrews ears and whispers seductively "You should have had me, you know. I wanted you to. Can you imagine how you would've felt inside of me?" He increases the speed slowly, every time running his thumb over the tip.  
  
  _Andrew smiled and his eyes flutter shut. He licks his lips and moves slowly, lazily into Ben´s strokes. "I know but ...ah... I ....nnh... I wanted to give you some..ahh...time..." he pants. He turns his head to pull Ben into a deep kiss, letting their tongue´s battle and he moves into him, pumping into his hand. It didn´t took him long until he came, moaning into Ben´s mouth. "I love what you do..." He whispers as soon as he has regains his breath._  
  
    Ben kisses Andrew while he tries to catch his breathing again and he smirks, he really loves to see Andrew this way, he loves every face he shows him and he desires his body. There was no point in fighting it, he has fallen madly in love with him. After cleaning the both of them up he pulls the sheets over them and wraps his arms tightly around his lover "You're marvelous. I think I'll never stop telling you that." He places a single kiss on Andrews forehead.  
  
 _"So are you, my love" Andrew whispers sleepily. He feels worn out and tired but happy. And he can´t remember when he had last felt like this. He snuggles into Ben´s arms, nuzzling his face against Ben´s arms and within moments he falls asleep, slightly snoring._  
  
    He holds him, listening to his breathing that calms when he finally falls asleep at last and closes his eyes. This was a new start that includes some problems. But was he afraid? No, because Andrew would be there to stand by his side. They could do it, together. And when he closes his eyes for the next time he was asleep, an arm still wrapped around Andrews chest.  
  
  


	16. "I fucking knew it!"

_"So....this is it, hmm?" Andrew groans and moves a bit, too sleepy to open his eyes just yet. But there is this voice again. "Will you two wake up and get dressed? Or at least pull the sheets up before Amanda enters!" Now that wakes Andrew with a start and he sits up, staring at Martin for a second before quickly grabbing the pillow from underneath Ben´s head and placing it in his lap. "What are YOU doing here? In...IN here!!??"_  
  
    Ben awakes with a single yawn when he felt Andrew moving next to him, but he could hear a second voice, coming from the edge of the bed. He sits up and gets aware of Martins figure, standing in front of it and he groans. "Oh,Martin. I told you yesterday. Not - too - early." He moves under the sheets to get his boxers back on and stands up in one swift move, covering Andrew with them instead. He walks over to Martin and hugs him "Still always good to see you. And of course you kept my keys." He walks to the bathroom and shoots a look back "I'll take a shower, Amanda is on her way, yeah?"  
  
 _"Too early? It´s past 11..." Martin chuckles and hugs Ben back. He watches the other man walk out and then turns to Andrew, grinning. "I knew it! I just fucking KNEW it!" he says and walks out. It takes Andrew a bit before he can get up and follow Ben into the bathroom. He quickly showers, brushes his teeth and got into some clothes. By the time he joins Martin and Ben in the kitchen, his hair still tousled and damp, Amanda has arrived as well._  
  
    Ben is busy making some breakfast for them and nearly finished. He pours Amanda some coffee when Andrew enters the kitchen again and he could see her suspicious look up and down on him. Another look over to her husband confirms her in her thoughts and she smiles "No way! You're getting laid with England´s  most wanted actor?" She gives Ben a clasp on his arm and a sulky look "You should've said something before! Martin, did you know about them?" Ben smiles, Amanda was such a sweetheart. "Martin didn't know as well. He just found it out tomorrow when he woke us. We wanted you to be the first to know."  
  
 _Andrew blushes from head to toes and smiles faintly. "Eh...morning Martin, Amanda..." he rubs his hair shyly and hurries to Ben´s side, quickly taking the coffeemugs from him. "That´s seriously too big of a compliment." he said with a smug voice. "I´m probably more like the Irish most wanted actor." Martin just smirks and watches them. "So, any plans for honeymoon soon?"_  
  
    Ben shoots Martin a look because he could feel Andrew stiffen next to him and dryly says "No, but if we're planning on that you can be our flowergirl." Amanda giggles and caresses Martins arm. "Of course he we would do that. But seriously, you're going public with it, right? Because there is no point in hiding, they'd discover it. The article a few days before was just the beginning."  
  
 _Andrew nods slowly and looks over to Ben. "Doubt he can hide this glimmer in his eyes whenever he thinks of me. So...we're considering it." He gets himself a toast. "But actually I really thought about a short holiday as soon as Ben's finished with filming for Season 3"_  
  
    "It'd be really nice if you would support us in public, interviews and everything." Ben steps behind Andrew and puts his hands on his hips. It still felt unusual to be that close to him, and of course performing those actions in front of others was a different thing, and of course friends and family was different. They'd have to tell his family. He expects very long talks and there would be a need for explanations, but they would understand, he could always rely on them and he was very thankful for that.  
  
 _"Yes, that would be nice" Andrew says leaning into Benedict's touch. He smiles happily, enjoying the touch. It sure felt weird for Ben still. He could feel how tense he was, yet he was the one touching him so he didn't move away, instead he turned. "What do you think, Ben?"_  
  
    "I just thought about your suggestion of a vacation. Sounds nice and we should really do that. But now, let's have some breakfast!" They're having a nice brunch, talking, laughing, wallowing in memories of their days together. When they finally left Ben smiles awkwardly at Andrew "They took it very well, didn't they?"  
  
 _"They did. But I fear not everyone we know or not know will react like them." Andrew sighs. "I should tell Steven and my family. Do you...want to tell your family? Want me to be there when you do?" Andrew leaned into Ben, playing with the short curls of black hair on his neck._  
  
    "If you want I'd like you to be there with me when I tell them. Though I think there won´t  be a problem." He leans down to place a kiss on Andrews left cheek "I think it's different for you. Take my offer to stand by your side as well, but I can totally understand if you want to talk to your family on your own. Because they knew Steven very well, I guess. "  
  
 _"It took them a while to accept their only son won't being home any grandchildren...well, I can make up for that now. But yes, they were rather fond of Steven." Andrew gets up and starts cleaning the table. "So, where should we go for vacation? Can you tell already when you'll be finished filming?"_  
  
    "We should be finished in about 5 weeks, that's what Mark and Sue guessed last week." Ben helps Andrew with the cleaning and couldn't suppress a smirk, Andrew already knows where to put the dishes and how to handle the dishwasher. It has been just 2 weeks but it felt like more than just 14 days, and he enjoys every day he could spend with him. He won't ask Andrew to move in with him so early but he would enjoy his presence as long as possible and looking forward to their vacation as well. He could barely hold his hands by himself, the longing to touch his lover was far to tempting. He steps behind Andrew when he stays in front of the kitchen table and starts to kiss his neck.  
  
 _Andrew chuckles when Ben steps up to him and he leans back, his head to the side so the taller one would have better access. He enjoyed being with him so much. During the last years his relationship with Steven had cooled down and he loved and enjoyed this new, exciting side of a relationship. Chuckling he reached back and groped Big Ben through his pants giving him a slight squeeze. Then he turned around, tilting his head up to kiss Benedict. "Back to bed, bathtub or table?" He smirks. "I guess the tub would be quiet practical."_  
  
    Ben takes both of Andrews hands in his and slowly pins them down to the table again. He sucks Andrews bottom lip into his mouth and nips on it, releasing it with a loud pop, before he got his leg between Andrews to part them, his voice only a low growl when he speaks into Andrews ear "The tub has to wait, I'm afraid."  
  
 _Andrew's eyes flutter shut and he kisses Ben back, nibbling on his lips, suckling on his tongue. He likes being pinned to the table like this, likes how Ben tries to prove he is stronger. "Oh yes?" Andrew smirks. "Try me." He adds, slipping out of Ben's hold, making his way to the bathroom, laughing_  
  
    He blinks and turns to Andrew opening his mouth but no words came out at first. "You..... That was cruel!" A few quick steps and he outruns Andrew again, pinning him at the wall and catching his lips in a heated kiss, his hands running through the shorter mans hair.  
  
 _"Oh yes?" Andrew smirks. "You have no idea just how cruel I can be." He adds, getting up a leg between Ben's legs and pressing his upper leg against Ben's crotch. He kisses him back feverishly but slightly bites his tongue, using the others surprise to slip away once more. Laughing he makes another attempt to the bathroom_  
  
    Ben follows him quickly and reaches the bathroom door before Andrew does and pulls him in. He slams the door shut and crashes them against it, making quick work of Andrews shirt and rips it open, the buttons flying around. He bites down at his shoulder, not hurting Andrew but stealing his breath away and scratches over his forearm what would leave red scratch marks. He could feel Andrews skin react to the seduction and smirks "Cruel, hm?" He continues the undressing by opening Andrews belt.


	17. Intense

_Andrew was rather breathless from being pushed against the door. "Yah, that was my favourite shirt," he protests but there was not much use to it. The bite makes him moan and dig his fingers into Ben's back, also getting rid of his shirt and while Ben still fumbles with his belt, Andrew squeezes his hands into the other's pants grabbing his butt, squeezing it and digging his nails into the white soft flesh. "That's all you got?" He whispers into Benedict's ear, biting down on his earlope playfully._  
  
    There was a dangerous glisten in his eyes when Andrew challenges him and he feels the little hairs on his arm rise when Andrew runs his hands inside his pants. He tuggs Andrews pants open and down to his knees, humming at the sight he gets now with Andrews half-hard erection visible through the fabric of his shorts. He bites down on Andres lips. Runs his tongue over the lower lip and into Andrews mouth, exploring, playing with Andrews tongue. He grabbs his own belt, removing it from his pants and pins Andrews hands together over his head, tying them with the belt and leans down near to Andrews ear, licking his earlobe and with a lustful voice whispers into them "I haven't even started ."  
  
 _Andrew doesn't get lots of chances to play with Benedict's butt for the other quickly frees him of his pants and then ties his hands together. Now this was really ticking him off and he wrapps his tied arms around Ben's neck, pulling him into a heated kiss. "Then show me what you've got!" He dares him, pushing his crotch against the other's_  
  
    Ben combines the swift move Andrew makes with one move of his hips and pulls Andrews shorts down quickly, breathing hot against Andrews neck. The tied hands restrain the area he could move around in so he brings their bodies closer together. He pulls his boxers down, takes himself in hand and works his shaft up and down a few times before he positions himself at Andrews entrance, not caring about any proposition at all, so little patience. While he pushes into Andrew he looks him deeply into the eyes and moans openly to the hot heat around his cock "Look at you, always so impatient when I'm fucking you. Imagine the things I could do to you right now.." He bits down at Andrews throat, sucking the skin into his mouth.  
  
    _Andrew gasps at being placed upon the bathroom drawer and quickly wraps his legs around Benedict's hips. The groans and throws his head back when Ben enters him, the added pain of the bite on his neck makes him shiver and moan out loudly. Surely now their neighbors will know... If they didn't after last night. Andrew knots his ankles on Ben's back and pushes him closer, deeper into him. He moans and pushes against him, burying his teeth into Ben's shoulder, definitely leaving a mark._  
  
    Neither of them would last very long right now, their actions are far too heated up for that. He sets a fast pace with short thrusts what pushes Andrew back on the drawer. He moans while talking naughty filth into Andrews ears, that he loves fucking him and he would fuck him sore. He scratches over Andrews skin, not caring about the marks he left there and finally puts Andrews hard erection in his hand, pumping him in the speed with his thrusts.  
  
 _Walking would definitely be a little problematic in the next hour but he loves the mixture of pain and arousement Ben gives to him. His moans and little whimpers grow louder every moment. He tries to steady himself with his arms, clinging to the drawer but when Ben starts pumping his erection every strength leaves him ans he comes after just a few strokes._  
  
    When Andrew comes his hole twitches, works his cock just the best way and he gives into the sweet sensation. Combined with Andrews pleas and moans when he comes, the thrusts and the tight hole was enough to push him over the edge and his orgasm comes across him quickly after Andrews strength leaves him and he falls into his arms. Panting hardly he kisses Andrew sweetly, slowly pulling out of his lover. "That was... Intense!"  
  
 _Andrew still feels Ben come into him when suddenly he feels weird and with a start he blanks out, his whole weight falling against Ben making them loose balance and land hard on the bathroom floor. Groaning Andrew looks around. "Painful and intense..."he whispers, trying to get up. "I am sorry...feel a bit dizzy"_  
  
    Ben groans and tries to get up as well, but with Andrew lying on him it was a difficult task. He sits up and strokes Andrews back, he should have taken time to prepare him properly but it all got heated up so quickly. He wraps an arm around Andrew, and with some efford makes them stand again quickly. He didn't remove the arm and walks them back to the couch, carefully removing his arm to make them sit down. "So sorry, love. Should have given it a second thought before..."  
  
 _Andrew doesn't protest and lets Ben get him to the couch. He leans into him and shakes his head. "No. It was hot and I loved it." He groans as he moves, feeling sore all over. "Maybe next time though we go for candlelight and all the mushy sappy stuff and do it real slow?_ "  
  
    "Certainly. But not now." Ben leans against Andrew and gives him a little kiss on the cheek and the forehead. They sat there for a while, just like that, naked and cuddling, enjoying the aftermath. A glance to the clock says him that he has to be on set in 3 hours. When he turns to tell Andrew he gets aware of a light snore next to him. How adorable, he smiles sweetly and reaches for a blanket next to him to cover Andrew. He stands up and gives His lover a last soft kiss on the lips before he showers, gets dressed and leaves the flat (not without a note for Andrew, of course) and heads for the set.


	18. Stephen

  
  
_ <hey Ben. I'm gonna meet Steven this afternoon. I have to tell him. Love you.<_  
 _ >Stephen, can we meet? We need to talk. Andy<_  
 _Andrew chewed on his bottom lip and dropped the phone onto his lap_  
  
    When he has his first break Ben checks his mails after eating with the crew and chatting with Mark and rises his eyebrows. He would go and see Steven.. alone. Right. He just hopes Andrew would be fine until he would be back home. It makes feel a bit uncomfortable and he bets that Steven would want to talk to him as well after that. He types a message back to Andrew before he joins Martin on the set again. >Okay, tell me later how he took it then. If you need me there with you, phone me anytime. xx -Ben <  
  
    >I got to work later, it should be now. Where do we meet? -Steven<  
  
 _Andrew smiles faintly at Ben's comment and parks his car. <Home.< he texts Stephen back, getting out of the car. He looked up at his home for the last decade and slowly walked up the stairs. He waited in the living room when Stephen entered_  
  
    When his car stops Stephen sits still for a few seconds, looking up to their past. He could see a scheme of himself and Andrew walking up the stairs to move into their new future, young and madly in love with each. He could see them enter and leave the flat over the years, cuddling, kissing, laughing, drunken, arguing. and he looks up again. The house seems to have lost its magic. He snorts. Talking. Alright. Then they'll talk. He enters the flat and heads for the living room and there he was. "Isn't it a bit weird to be here? What do you think?" He walks around, eying their stuff.  
  
 _"I ...thought it might be the right place to ...talk about it. This place was once our home and we wanted to grow old here." Andrew's hands cramp around the armrests of the chair. He wouldn't have thought it will be this hard and painful. "We have no future here anymore. No...future together." It hurt so much to say it out loud._  
  
    Stephen doesn't turn when Andrew says those words, wearing a pained expression on his face. "Just tell me why. Why are you..." He turns to look Andrew in the face, searching for the answer "Why are you throwing everything we had away?"  
  
 _Andrew gets up to face the taller one. "You started it Steph. You left me because I made a mistake which I regretted deeply. But you just threw everything away. It hurt so much and he was there to sooth me. He could heal my broken heart." He reached for Stephen's hand. "I am sorry Stephen but with all that happened I can't come back to you."_  
  
    There is a big knot forming in his throat and he has to clear it before he could speak again "you love him, don't you?" He takes Andrews hand in his, not waiting for the answer "..and I could see that he loves you, too. I could see it in his eyes." Still silence.. "I've loved you so much, Andrew Scott, I thought we'd grow old together." He still holds Andrews hand, soft and cold in his own.  
  
 _Tears start running down his cheeks and he can't hold them back. "Yes, I. Do..." He whispers, his voice choking. "I also thought we would grow old together...here...but ... We can't" he sobs, pulling Stephen into his arms and burying his face in his shoulder_  
  
    He holds him, for an endless moment just holds him, his own eyes start to fill with uncried tears. 'You need to let him go' he could hear his own voice telling him. 'Because you want him happy. Because he /deserves/ to be happy. He sniffs and talks into Andrews ear still holding him close "we had a fantastic time, didn't we?" Now a single tear leaves his eyes, unseen by Andrew.  
  
 _Andrew sobs and laughs, nodding into his chest. "An absolute fantastic time and i wouldn't want to miss any second." He looks up to the other and runs a hand over his cheek. "I still love you... But... My love for him is ... Bigger... "_  
  
    It hurts to hear that, it really does. "Andrew, we can't go back anymore. " he has issues breathing and wipes the tears from Andrews face, stroking his cheek "I still love you. And I'll never have the right words to say thank you properly."  
  
   _Andrew quickly gets up on tiptoes, kissing him. "I'll call you in a while about hat we'll do with the house." He presses, squeezing his hands before hurrying out._  
  
 Steven got up when Andrew has left the flat finally. He looks around, all the memories, everything they shared... But it was his fault ss well as it was Andrews, there is no way back and no way together in the future. He walks out, past the photos of their vacation, their first meeting on a party ages before. He takes a last look back over the shoulder. This was goodbye then.


	19. Nightmare

 Ben drives home really quick today. He still hasn't got a mail from Andrew and there was no mail from Steven as well. He was more than a bit concerned, climbs the stairs up as fast as he could manage. "Andrew??"  
  
    _Andrew has not gone home though. After leaving his old house he drove up to his fave Irish pub and sits there, sipping one drink after another. He just wants to forget about today, wants to erase the sad face of Stephen from his memories._  
  
    The water was cooling him down a bit. Of course he is still concerned and he would call Andrew later, but not now. He might just need some time alone. Or.. More time to talk to Stephen. His stomach does a little flip when he thought about Steven, he still felt sorry for him. But he'd never wants to miss a single thing he shares with Andrew. When he gets out of the shower he reaches for his towel and his phone, trying to get Andrew on he phone.  
  
  _Andrew stares at his phone when it goes off ringing. Still the BeeGees. Still `stayin´alive´. He had thought it fun once. Sigh a sigh he picks up. "Nyeah? Benny? Ima not hom´. Imma gettin´drunk" he slurrs, lighting up his next cigarette. "Dun wanna cum hom´"_  
  
    He remains silent on the other side of the phone connection. "Alright.." He doesn't know how to behave now correctly, of course Andrew should be allowed to choose what he wants to do and with whom he does. And they are not in a relationship, at least they hadn't talked about it. So he decides he would just. "I'll be home tonight, if you choose to stay, where ever you are right now, it's fine. Just..you know I'm here and of course I'm still interested in your conversation with Steven. Take care of yourself, will you?" He adds with some concern in his voice  
    
_"Ben...." Andrew's voice suddenly sounds a lot more sober but teary. "Can...you pick me up? I n.. I need you. Please?" He adds in a hoarse whisper._  
  
He gets up in one swift move "Of course I can, just tell me where you are." In fact he is relieved that Andrew has decided and will be with Ben again, safe. He decides to drive by car, because it was safer than he bike, especially with a drunken Andrew. He would drive with him someday, but not tonight. He walks into the Irish pub and looks around, searching for Andrew.  
  
 _Andrew sits curled up in a corner, playing with his phone, deleting all the pics of him and Stephen. His face clearly shows the stains of tears when he looks up to the taller man. "Can we go to the sea and watch the sunset?" he asks, sounding exhausted._  
    
    Ben touches his face lightly, whips a tear away with his finger. He doesn't answer but pull Andrew up and into his arms, stroking his back. "We'll do that later. For now let's just go home, okay?" He presses a kiss on his forehead, still aware of the other people in the bar. They need to watch out, now, hat they are still not a couple to most of the people. He takes Andrews hand in his and pulls him to the car, still noone watching them. Ben breathes in when they reentered the flat. Home. Finally.  
   
 _"I dun wanna go hum...." Andrew groans, rubbing his hair until it stands up. "I wanna go to the sea. I wanna see the sunset...." he pouts like a little child, hugging his chest. "Please, Benny." He stays silent, watching the street while Ben drives them home to their flat. When Ben opens his door he stays inside though. "Sea!" he just says sulking._  
 _After a moment he gets out though, following Ben inside._  
  
    He closes the door behind them and watches Andrew. He walks over to the living room, his gait unsteady and of course he was still pouting over the sunset-thingy. He follows Andrew with some space between them, waiting for him to sit down before he asks him. "Would you care to tell me.. How your conversation with Stephen has been?"  
  
 _"Yesh I woul ´ care..." Andrew sighs. "He cried, I cried, lots of crying...but I tol´ him I luff you mor´ than him..." He slips out of his shoes and pulls his legs up onto the couch, hugging them. "Why can´t we go to the sea?"_  
  
    Ben joins him on the couch, he doesn't know if Andrew was after body contact right now, but he would offer it to him. He ghosts a hand over Andrews arm "I love you, Andrew. And won't stop telling you how much."  
  
  _Andrew leans into him. "I knoooow... but you don´t luff me enough to let me see the sea...." He curls up into Benedict´s arms. "I did love him once, you know...I still do but ...not like you."_  
  
    Ben touches his face lightly, whips a tear away with his finger. He doesn't answer but pull Andrew up and into his arms, stroking his back.  
    He was happy to have Andrew in his arms again and he enjoys the feeling of his smaller body against his. He roams a hand over Andrews arms who are still cold from the chilly night air. "Soon, my love, I promise." He kisses his neck lightly. "You must be tired after that overwhelming talk and the alcohol. Do you want to sleep?"  
  
 _As if on command Andrew yawns, his eyes fluttering shut. "I´m not tired. I wanna go there now. I always went when I was sad....I have no go. Please Ben...please.." Tears dwell up in his eyes again._  
   
    Ben kisses the corner of Andrews eyes and roams a hand over his chest "I promise I'll take you there, but it's not tonight, it would take too much time. And you.." He nudges Andrews nose "Are far too drunk. Let's go to sleep, okay?"  
  
 _Andrew sighs and nods slowly, buring his face into Ben´s chest. "Can I sleep in your arms?" he whispers. "Please? I ..hurt him so much_ "  
    
    "I'm sure that he understands you. And you're a good-hearted person, Andrew, I'm sure you've chosen the right words to tell him." He turns Andrew and kisses him properly, laying all his love in that kiss. He wants to comfort him, keep the nightmares from his bed, make him happy, love him until the end. He smiles into the kiss, that was the lovestruck speaking out of him. But he knew, even if the first moments would pass by he would love Andrew with his whole heart and mind. He pulls him closer and strokes his back. "Sleep, love" he murmurs in his ears "I'm here."  
  
 _It doesn´t take long for Andrew to fall asleep. His dreams though are filled with nightmares and not just once that night he wakes up, panting, screaming, only to fall back asleep in Ben´s arms, being soothes, hushed and calmed by him. The next morning he feels worn out and exhausted, coughing and totally sick. With a groan he turns around in the bed once more. "Can we stay in bed today? please?"_  
  
    It's been a hard night for the both of them, After the 5th awakening or so Andrew starts to talk in his sleep and it makes him feel sorry for the other, screaming, begging, whimpering. Now that the day has dawned he felt dizzy and not at all in the mood to stand up. "Of course we can stay in bed, but not the whole day... Morning though" he kisses Andrews lips and hugs him closer again. "Do you need something?"  
  
 _Andrew kisses him back and snuggled up more against him, feeling safe in Ben's arms, his tall frame against him. "Nothing. Just you. And maybe an advil..." He looks up and strokes Ben's cheek. "I'm sorry for keeping you awake all night."_  
     
    "Oh there is nothing to feel sorry about" He stands up to fetch Andrew an advil and something to drink. He returns with a glass of water and the pill just to see Andrew's asleep again. He shifts behind him, carefully, the glass of water and the pill seated on the nightshed. He runs a hand through Andrews hair and caresses his neck, smiling when Andrew reacts on the touch. He bows down to blow a kiss to his lips, then his eyes flutter shut and he drifts to sleep as well  
   
 _~~ "Wait...don't go. Please...don't.... Stephen..." They were on the roof of a building...the Bart´s...it was windy,...Andrew looked around to see if there was someone else but him and Steven. Benedict was there staring into the sky but not moving. Steven was on the edge, about to jump. Andrew tried to get closer, but something hold him back. When he turned he saw Ben holding him back. Steven was about to jump any second. He was crying. Telling Andrew it was his fault. He turned and... Suddenly it was him falling. Andrew saw Steven and Ben on the roof while he fell, heading for the hard ground.~~ With a cry and shaking muscles Andrew sits up on the bed. Panting hard._  
  
    Ben awakes when the first cry left Andrews mouth and he moves to embrace him properly, remembering the experiences in the last night he knew Andrew was about to wake up soon. It was midday already and they are still in the bed, sleeping. When he hears Andrews sobbed cry he hugs him close again and touches his cheek slightly "Shhhh.. You're dreaming, love." He sits up and takes Andrew with him, handing him the glass of water. "Drink something, it'll help."  
  
 _"He wanted to jump...like you did....but instead I fell...i died..." Andrew stutters various parts from his dream, clinging to Ben's frame. He is shivering all over,_  
  
    He knows that kind of dreams just to well, after his break-up with Olivia he had nightmares, too. But he hasn't have anyone by his side back then, despite his friends, but noone by his side, exactly. He is glad that he could be here with Andrew, helping him through it. Standing up he offers Andrew a hand "Going to have a shower, will you join me there?"  
  
 _Andrew nods slowly. "Sorry." He smiles and runs a hand through his hair. "Shower sounds brilliant." He undresses on the way there, slipping into the cabin._


	20. A weekend apart

  
  
    Ben follows Andrew in some time, undressing on his way as well. He opens the door to the shower and joins Andrew under the shower that he had already put on. The water was hot, nearly skin melting and he could feel the little hairs on his arms and his body react to it. Ben leans against the wall and relaxes, eyes shut, mouth open - he feels much better now.  
      
_Andrew watches Ben relax and he smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the other's shoulder, to his arm. He wraps his arms around the taller one, pulling him into a kiss. "Thank you for being here. Thanks you for being with me,_ "  
      
    Ben smiles, not opening his eyes and hums. "You know why I'm doing that. And I'll be there whenever you need me." He shifts a bit to touch Andrews shoulder with his, eyes open now. It wasn't a good start, not like one would imagine it for a perfect relationship, but that doesn't matter the slightest. They are strong both of them, proved several times. They had fought hard to come that far in acting, and it wasn't easy sometimes but it brought them together. He smiles bright when he remembers their first meeting on the set, he would have never imagined that they would be together like this someday. He thought he'd marry a women, have a lot of kids and live together with her on a farm on the land. But things turn never out the way out you expect them to.  
  
 _Andrew chuckles while he watches Benedict. He was so easy to look through. He leans into him, his hands resting just above Ben's butt. "You have this weekend off, right? I would... I want to ask if we could fly over to my hometown. Meet my parents." He looks up at him, curious about the answer_  
  
    Ben blinks. And again. Wait what did Andrew say? "You... You want me to, meet your parents? Now?" He looks back at Andrew. Oh, maybe that sounded a bit.. "Oh, sorry. Of course I want to meet them. I just wonder if that is the best point in time, you know." He takes Andrews hands in his owns and strokes them.  
  
 _"Well, not..not now but...this weekend?" Well, that WAS practically now for it was Thursday already. Andrew sighed and shook his head quickly. "You're right. I will go home alone. It's my mom's birthday and I have to show up. I promised." He snuggles against Ben's moist body. "Can you cope without me for two days?"_  
  
    "Sure I can..." He wraps his arms around Andrews waist and draws him closer "...but I'll miss you." He kisses Andrews neck lightly, touching his back and inhales his scent.  
  
 _"I'll miss you too." Andrew smiles. He leans up and kisses Ben gently. Before he slips out of the shower, towels himself dry and started to dress. "What are your plans today?"_  
   
  
    >Andrew is on his way to Ireland. We  agreed to meet after his  decision.  Can we do that now? I've got some time to spare. -Ben< While he types the message he was driving back home from the airport in a cab. Even if it wasn't for long he misses Andrews presence now.  
   
   _ >Sure. I'm at our home, getting my stuff out. You can come over. S.< Stephen wonders why out of the blue Ben wants to talk to him, yet he doesn't mind. It hurt, that final break up with Andrew but he has decided to move on. So now he w Is in their old home, getting his things out so they could soon sell the house, they had once bought together_  
  
    Ben lifts an eyebrow when he receives the mail from Stephen. It seems like he wants to make a fast cut. He shouldn't care but of course he thought of Andrew. He wouldn't greet that fast move out. >I'll be there. Can we talk?-Ben<  
  
   _ >Sure.< Still Stephen has no idea on what Ben wants to talk about. Maybe he wants to move into this house with him...but then again, he wouldn't. He just can't imagine Andrew to be the type to even step a foot into this house again._  
   
    He rings the doorbell a few times before Stephen could answer it. He doesn't look well. His eyes are red and he looks very tired. Again he felt guilt rising again, nibbling on his conscience. "Hey, shall we talk here or...?"  
  
 _"Sure, come on in..." Stephen says, guiding Ben into the living room. "What do you want to talk about?"_  
  
    Ben doesn't look around, he has never been to Andrew and Stephen´s House and now it doesn't feel good to be here. "When we last met we decided to talk aft Andrews decision, right?" He stands in front of Stephen, who was just as tall as he was, and looks him into the eyes. He had liked Stephen when they first met, but with all the things that happened between Stephen and Andrew he couldn't say anymore.  
   
 _"So we did. But I don't see what we should talk about. Andy chose to throw everything away that we had. He decided he wants you and I have to accept that as much as it hurts. So. Again. What do you want to talk to me about?" Stephen says in a rather annoyed manner_  
    
    Ben doesn't look away, of course he was angry, but Andrew had done nothing wrong (except the cheating) and he would tell Stephen what he needs to know. "It had to turn out this way. I'm not overstepping my boundaries when I tell you, that I think your relationship hasn't had a future anymore. You couldn't forgive the cheating and Andrew was hurt so much when you left him when he needed you the most."  
  
  _"Is that all? You want to twist the knife some more? I would rather have you leave then." Stephen says now turning angry himself._  
  
 _ >Coming home early. Need cuddling and you. Will you pick me up from the airport? - A<_  
  
    "I don't want to hurt you, Stephen, I just want you to understand that there was no other way for you both, and you need to understand Andrew. You know him so well, he needs that. You understanding his actions." He walks away a bit "For me I just have one thing to say for my defensive and you know what that is."  
    >I'll make it as fast as I can, I'm in a meeting, somehow at the moment, can't wait to see you. xx Ben< He looks up from his phone. "I need to hurry. Steven, I know you don't want to hear this at the moment, but if there is something I can do for you, don't care to talk to me. " He turns to leave Stephen on his own.  
   
 _Stephen sighs and sits down. "I understand your motives. Of course I do. Who could not fall for him? Who could not love him once you get to know him.... But you need to give me some time. Both of you, i need to get used to the thought." He looked up and nodded. "Send my greetings to him."_  
  
 _ >Take your time. I will land in about an hour. Want you. Andrew.<_  
  
    "Certainly. Take as much time as you need. I'll talk to him, you won't hear anything from him if you don't want to. He'll understand." He takes Stevens hand a squeezes it lightly "I wish you the very best, take care."   
And then he leaves the house to fetch Andrew up on the airport. He'll be there just in time, and Andrew had just little packaging, they could store it in the motor-cycle. When he arrives at the airport, the plane hasn't arrived and he waits for Andrew, sending a last text. >Can't wait to have you in my arms as well, hurry, Love<  
  
  
 _His flight is delayed a bit so Andrew did see the text only when he got off it. It brings a big smile on his face and he hurries down the alley. When he gets out into the hall he looked around and finally sees Ben in a cafe, talking to - obviously - some fans, they seemed to have a nice chat so Andrew didn't know if he should join in and disappeares into a WHSmith,_  
  
    "...So nice to meet you, I've always wanted to meet you,can you please sign my book and can we take a picture together?" He really likes his fans, he really does. Most of them are very polite and nice, and he returns the favor with joy anytime...but now he is a bit worried that he could miss Andrew, so he smiles into the cameras, signs books and hugs them before he excuses and leaves them on their own. He heads for the exit, it might be better to wait there for Andrew.  
  
 _Andrew watches Ben from afar, loving the way he treats his fans. Just like Andrew does himself. They both know that without fans, without people coming to their stages or watching their movies they would pretty fast disappear from them. When he sees Ben heading outside some worry settles in his stomach. Did Ben forget about him? Will he go home now without him? Pulling his cap deeper into his face he tries to make it for the next exit_  
  
    There he is, the exit. When he reaches his goal, Ben turns around to look around and nearly bumped into someone "I'm so s..." But before he could say something else he was pulled into a hungry kiss. He nearly was about to pull back but smiling he recognizes the soft lips, remembers the taste and just gives into it. "God, I've missed you so much.,." He mumbles against Andrews lips while he slungs his arms around the other man, holding him close.  
  
 _"I almost thought you wanted to leave. That you have forgotten about me, cuz of the girls." He nuzzles Ben's cheek shortly before letting him go. "Sorry, shouldn't do that in public. I just missed you so." He says, pulling up the collar of his jacket, looking around for any reporters. But there were just the fangirls..... Gaping at them with open mouths._


	21. On the Run

  
  
    Of course they should have watched out. Of course he knows that this would be in the press tomorrow if one of the girls would take a picture of them. Well, at least they couldn't figure out who the man in front of him was, for Andrew was wearing his big sunglasses. But if they wouldn't hurry to get out a closer look would have done it's job just as well. He takes Andrews hand and his suitcase, throws the Fangirls a smile and disappears as fast as possible. "They've seen us. Here, take this on. He throws a helmet over to him while he stuffs his little suitcase in the cycle and sits down on it. "Come on, behind me."  
  
 _Andrew frowns and turns pale. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I...should I talk to them? Can't you make them stop from telling it around? Give them a hug or something." He slides onto the bike. "Maybe they'll think I am female? Though I would doubt that...."_  
    
    "I'm afraid that's a bit late, now. Let's get home, quickly, before we have no chance to enter the flat because of the press." He drives with not just some speed, but as fast as he can and-lucky- there wasn´t any press when they arrived. He enters the flat and closes the door. "First step, now it's getting hard."  
  
 _Andrew gets on the bike and wraps his arms around Ben's waist. He leans into him, feeling a mixture of guilt and happiness to be with him again. As soon as they're in in the flat he gets rid of the helmet, chuckling slightly about Ben's words. "Already getting hard? We're not even in bed yet." He clears his throat, shaking his head, "Sorry. I know what you mean. I am so sorry. I jut wanted to kiss you so badly and now I ruined it. You think they recognized me? You think they'll tell reporters?" He sighs and sits down, getting rid of his shoes to pull up his legs onto the couch._  
  
    Oh he was right, they haven't said hello properly. He smirks and takes a step forward, Andrew was still babbling and Ben puts his hands on Andrews waist what makes the other look up. He smiles at him, whispers a silent "I really missed you"and lays his lips softly on Andrews. They remain there for a while, moving their lips, nibbling, sucking. His head feels dizzy but he is happy, so happy to have Andrew. He feels like it will all find a way to get into places, if they just stick together. "I think we should hurry to tell our families, it won't take long for the first articles. Just if we're lucky there will be no pictures. And you were wearing your sunglasses, that should have been enough to cover you." He moves to the kitchen to make some coffee "Have you told your family? How did they react?"  
     
_Andrew enjoys the warmth that comes with Ben's kisses, the feeling of being wanted and needed and loved. He needs it now for the weekend with his parents was hard. Explaining to them he had broken up with Steven, that he is a father now and in a new relationship with another man has taken him quiet a bit of energy. "It was a bit of a shock but in the end they took it all rather better than expected. What about yours? When do you want to tell them? Should I come along?"_  
  
    He leans against the kitchen cupboard, taking a sip of his coffee. "Well, I don't want them to hear about us from the newspaper or through the television. So I have to tell them..like now." He turns to fetch the telephone and dials "Mum? It's me, Ben. I want to tell you something, yo and dad can we.. Where is he? Oh.. No I can't wait. Yes. In 2 hours. I will not come alone. Yes. Thank you, see you later, love you." He walks back into the kitchen and sighs, looking in Andrews direction "My mom expect us to show up in 2 hours. It's a bit of a way. We should leave soon."  
     
_Andrew swallows. He has not expected it THIS soon. Actually when he was on the plane he hoped for some nice cuddling with Ben. Some Sex maybe. Some talking. Not a ´hey, let´s meet my parents´. Andrew knows a bit about Ben´s parents. Well, who doesn´t. They were actors just like him. Yet, he has no idea how they would take the idea of their precious son having a male lover now. "Okay...should I change? I Mean...I can´t go like this, right?" Andrew says, looking down at himself with ripped and loose jeans and a simple shirt, sneakers and messy hair._  
   
    Ben could hear a little hint of panic in Andrews voice and he stops in his motions. Oh, he hadn't thought this through properly, just thought about the things hat need to be done, now that they are discovered. Andrew might need some time to prepare physically for the meeting with his parents. He knew that they would accept Andrew, of course they would, for they just want him to be happy and that's what he is -obviously. But Andrew doesn't. If it would not be absolutely necessary that they meet them as fast as possible he would give him some time, of course. But unfortunately they wouldn't have time. So, he hopes that Andrew would trust him enough. He changes his shirt and pants into something comfortable and walks back into the kitchen where Andrew was still standing, still deep in thoughts. He hugs him from behind, pulling Andrew slowly closer and starts to press soft butterfly kisses on his neck. "You're perfect just like that."  
  
 _Andrew twitches a bit at the hug but quickly leans into him. "No I'm not. I'm about to meet my future parents-in-law and I'm not even wearing a suit...but just ripped jeans and a sweaty shirt." He inhales Ben's scent and that calms him down a bit. "Will they okay with me? I mean...I'm stealing away their precious only son....my parents at least knew that I'm gay," he turns in Ben's arms and snuggles into him. "Car? Mine or yours?"_  
  
    "They'd be surprised to see me in a suit when I'm just showing up for a drink. I'm a fan of the casual style, you might have noticed that." He smiles weirdly and pulls Andrew closer again "...but I'd wear any suit you want me to." His voice was innocent, as if he didn't recognize what he had just said. He runs his hands under Andrews shirt, he knows exactly that this would calm Andrew a bit, he likes the skin contact just as much as he does. He pushes Andrew back against the kitchen table and bows his head down to press his lips against Andrew's. "I can't wait for later when we're back here again."  
  
 _Andrew snuggles into him and kisses him back gently. "I´d love that. But right now I was talking about me. I mean shouldn´t I make a good impression on your parents? When meeting them for the first time?"_  
 _He enjoys the physical contact with Benedict but soon pushes them away from the kitchen table and takes his hand. "Well, I fear we should go then. Don´t want to be late then, ne?"_  
  
    "Your clothes are very okay for a meeting with my parents. Look, I know they'll take it very well.. They won't care about your gender." He sighs and laughs out "For someone in his thirties who is about to make his coming-out I'm very relaxed, don't you think?" As always - the optimistic person. He heads for the storage and returns with a bottle of wine, a present. "Ready to leave then?" He bites on his lower lip, now that he knows they'll tell it to his mother.  
  
 _"You're way more relaxed than I am..."Andrew chuckles. "And I had my coming out ages go." They went to the car and Andrew tried to lay his words together for meeting his -probably- future mother-in-law. He was still nervous when they arrived._  
  
    Ben got his keys out but remains in the car together with Andrew. He looks left to check on Andrews state and couldn't hold himself from a little outburst of laughter, Andrew was as white as a wall and he swallows hard. "Oh, Andrew, really! Relax! You'll be alright, /we/ will be alright!" He takes his hand in his and strokes his palm with his thumb. "You're handsome, you're funny and you have the most fantastic smile I've ever seen in my whole life, so come on!"  
  
    _"Yeah but I am missing the important parts...like a ...a vagina and boobs and a womb to give her grandchildren!" Andrew takes a deep breath and squeezes Benedict’s hand. So hard he almost hears it screaching. "Okay let's go in."_


	22. Hi Mom, I´m gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Note from us...
> 
> My Co-Author LadyBarthory moved to London about a week ago for a year.... so it might be a little difficult to find some time to write from time to time. As soon as she´s settled down a bit we will do our best to continue writing but it might take some time. But we WILL do our best to keep you not too bored (we´re not like two certain men who will make you wait for two years... *clears throat* )

  
    He opens the front door and pulls Andrew through it. He removes his shoes and was about to call for his mum when she comes right put of the kitchen door. "Benedict! It's so good to see you!" She hugs him close, so her last words are swallowed by Bens shoulder. "Let's have a closer look at you.. You look good, a bit hungry - but good." She smiles at him, at kisses him on the cheek before she turns her haze over to Andrew "And you, it's nice to meet you. Andrew, isn't it? Ben mentioned you a few times." She offers him a hand to shake.  
  
 _Andrew puts up his most brilliant smile and kisses her hand in a gentlemanly way. "Mrs Ventham, it's a pleasure!" He quickly slips out of his shoes and follows them into the living room. Here and there are family pictures and Andrew can't help but take some adoring looks at little Benedict._  
  
    Wanda was a mother, so there was of course a lot of food and she wouldn't let them go without having a second portion and some talk with a glass of the wine Ben has brought with them. And Wanda wouldn't be a mother as well if she wouldn't have noticed the gazes and the little touches from time to time. She was irritated, not just a bit. Of course it makes no difference, she could see fro. The smile he throws to Andrew that e makes her son happy, but she doesn't know how the public would take their coming-out. And of course she had counted on grand- children. After the second glass, when Ben excuses himself to go for the toilet she sits down next to Andrew. She raises her brows and waits fr a explanation "so? What is it, what couldn't wait so long?"  
  
 _Andrew finally relaxes during the dinner but tenses all up again as soon as Ben leaves them alone. He barely manages a smile and inches away from her a bit. "I... We... I guess Ben..Benedict should better tell you.." Darn you Ben! He thought_  
  
    Benedict returns and chose to sit next to Andrew, the poor sweet thing was shaking so he takes his hands, deciding it was time now. "Mum, I wanted to tell you before you had to hear it from the tv or the newspaper." He inhales deeply, kneading Andrews hands in his "Andrew isn't just a friend, he is my partner." Silence. Then: laughter. Was she kidding them??  
  
 _Andrew gulps and his hand tightens around Ben's. "It just happened Mrs Ventham, but...please be assured I really love your son. I really really do. I know I'm probably not what you had in mind for him but... I will be everything I can be for him."_  
  
  
    "Are you serious? That's the big news?" She laughs her heart out, tears running free from her eyes that she wiped away. "Oh come here, you!" Wanda pulls Benedict closer and hugs him tightly. When she lets go of him she pulls Andrew in her embrace as well "Ben, you know your parents, we've always wanted just the best for you. and you chose your way. You did great so far, so who would we be to stop you now?" She kisses Andrew on the cheek. "You'll take good care of him, will you? He is a bit stubborn from time to time."  
  
 _Andrew winces and almost yelps when Wanda hugs him but then smiles and hugs her back, so much relief running through him. "Thank you. I will. I love him with all my heart!" He turns to Ben and leans over to kiss him, not minding if that was impolite or something. He just wanted to feel Ben now. Actually he wanted to go home now. Quickly._  
  
    Wanda turns away, still smiling. "So the press knows already and that's why you need to tell me so desperately?" She clears the table while he is speaking to them, Ben had Andrew now sitting in front of him between his legs. He strokes Andrews hair and runs a finger over his neck, exploring. "Yes that's pretty much it. I just wanted you to know before other people do." They are talking on for a hour or so and then they decide that it's getting late and they will come back soon. Ben kisses his mother goodbye and hugs her heartily. She smiles during the whole time and hugs Andrew for a goodbye as well. When they're finally sitting in the car Ben shoots Andrew a questioning look "so?"  
  
 _Andrew feels slightly uncomfortable sitting in front of Ben's mom like this. But then again it was so nice feeling him against his body, In the car later he finally let's out the breath and buckles his seat-belt. He looks up at Ben at the question. "She is nice." He says, placing a hand on Ben's upper leg_  
  
    He let out a little laugh and leans back, sighing dramatically "I would've never thought I'd be in a position to have a coming out and my mother would be the first to know." He thought about it for a second, corrects himself then "well, for the record- she isn't. Charlotte counts as well I guess." He touches Andrew's hand, Holding it tightly and shoots Andrew a mysterious smile "I'd really love to go home now. Can't wait to be alone with you."  
  
 _Andrew smiles and takes Ben's hand, squeezing in - lightly this time. "Me neither....but Ben, it's a rather long drive back and I don't want to wait. I've waited three days to taste you again. Any suggestions?"_  
  
    Ben starts the engine and shoots Andrew a smug look. "I'll find a way to deal with that problem, just let us drive a few miles away." Of course he doesn't want to wait as well as Andrew but there would be no way they would do something near his parent's house. He knows a silent place, few miles away where they would be absolutely alone. They got there in about 10 minutes and Ben stops the engine. "That's more like it." He turns to Andrew, waiting for his approval.  
  
 _Andrew smiles at the place, looking around. "Came here with your girls?" He asks, his hand stroking over Ben's thigh. "We could also go see a movie in a cinema or something." He smirks. "Car's are rather uncomfortable for sex."_  
  
    Ben thought about it for a second "We could be in London for the late-night performance.. If you can wait 'til we're there..."he runs a hand over the back of Andrews hand, slowly upwards his arm and stops when he passes his shoulder and rests it at Andrews neck. He loves every inch of skin, every little invisible hair and the smile that plays around his lips and his eyes. He could sit there and admire his body the whole time.  
  
 _"Sure. I can wait as long as you can." Andrew smirks, taking his hand back, placing them in his lap. "Then get going, Mr Cumberbatch. I don't want to miss the movie. Which one do you want to watch? Have you seen 'worlds end' yet? Martin's in it..."_  
  
    Ben starts the engine and drives the car back to the road "Are you really suggesting world's end because Martin is in it after that little thing I told you about our past? Even if we haven't... You know..." He shifts in his seat, soon the street seems to be more important and he had to watch it with great interest.  
  
 _"Would you...do it again with him? I mean if there would be a possibility?" Andrew asks, leaning back in his seat staring out onto the dark road. "It's a rather...somehow...sexy thought." Andrew mumbles, his hands on his hands moving slowly, rubbing himself through his pants. "Hmm, tell me more about that night - and keep your hands on the stirring wheel."_  
  
    Ben´s eyes widen when he got what Andrew was doing there, right now and he licks his lips. "Well... We talked about it, obviously because of the mass of fanfiction about John Watson and Sherlock Holmes I already told you about." The street was dark and he doesn't want to turn his head to Andrew - it would sure take him off guard and he wants them to reach their goals  
    Living and without any harm. "So, he showed me some fanfictions, I found some really thrilling and.. sexy." When we all got drunk, we talked about it again, Amanda was also there. Martin asked me, just for fun, if we shouldn't try some things. And I had thought about it, and said to myself 'actually... Why not? He is a good friend and... and he is rather good looking and smart. And he could do something with his voice... To make it sound deeper... I wanted to make him use this voice." Ben clears his throat he could feel his body react to the flashback of that weekend ans he turns his head to look at Andrew  
  
 _Andrew listens curiously, one hand slipping into his pants, stroking himself. A small moan leave his lips and he shifts a bit to get more comfortable. "So...hmm... Amanda watched you two?" He asks, using his other hand to turn Ben's face back facing the street. He already loved to tease him like this_  
  
    He looks back at the street, with Andrew moaning next to him it would be a hard piece of work /not/ to look nor touch him. "Amanda did not watch us, she gave us permission." He smiles when he remembers to watch their conversation from far away, but they had been talking about him obviously. When they returned he was hugged by her and received an invitation from Martin to spend the weekend with him. "...that's when I knew that she truly loves Martin. She loves him so much that she would even tolerate him experimenting with someone else because she knows it was not more than just curiosity." He knew that he was beating around the bush, but Andrew had his fun teasing hm, why shouldn't he do the same?  
  
 _"That 's really love." Andrew smiles. He stops touching himself and instead leans over to let Ben kiss the palm of his hand, getting a slight taste of Andrew. "Better safe that for later" he chuckles. After tugging himself back in he just keeps on staring outside. "Can we go home? Please? I think playing in a cinema is not enough for tonight."_  
      
    Ben turns his head again, a bit curious"I haven't upset you, have I? No need to be jealous, I'm all yours. " he kisses Andrews palms and drives to the side, stopping the car and leans over to Andrews side, holding his face in his hands and giving him a kiss full of love and longing  
  
 _"Upset me? No. Why? I asked in the first place. I know you're completely mine now. " he smiles at the kiss and blinks a bit surprised when Ben stops the car. The kiss was so sweet and he returned it with passion. "I just wanted to tease you a bit, that's all. Now drive on or i won 't mind any longer about the uncomfortableness of a car." When they are back out on the road he sighs. "You think it will be all over the papers today?" He pulls out his phone, downloading the newest issue of the 'evening standart' slowly he flapped through it. "There... 'Benedict Cumberbatch seen kissing a mysterious person at the airport. The Person could not be fully recognized as male or female' WHAT?" Andrew shrieked. "Do I look like a woman?" Shaking his head he read on. " but it's most likely to be male, so now the world is getting curious bla blah, yap yap yap._


	23. Talking

  
    Ben reaches for the phone and reads the whole article. After he has successfully read what people are suggesting, he laughs really hard. His body moving forwards and back again. He holds his stomach. There has even been a picture of Charlotte, they tried to get her for an Interview as well, for they are still thinking of her as his new fiancee. He smiles and hands Andrew the phone again "So, no danger then! But we should still prepare for going public." He drives the car back to the street and was very glad when he could see the lights of the city. He couldn't wait a second longer to have Andrew in a private area. He licks his lips just of the thought about it.  
  
 _"You think? I mean....if the danger's out of the way... Do you really want it? Just think about it some more." Andrew plays around with his phone during the rest of their drive. Somehow the urge to get in bed had disappeared. When they arrived at home, he walked to the balcony, lighting a cigarette._  
  
    Benedict joins Andrew on the balcony, hugging him from behind, and lays his lips on his neck, slowly kissing up and down "As an answer to your earlier question: yes. I still want the public to know about us. I don't want us to hide. You don't deserve a treatment like that." He inhales deeply, smelling Andrews scent. "Has someone told you already that your smell is seductive?" He nips at Andrews earlobe, one hand running under Andrews shirt, humming in pleasure on the hot skin there.  
  
 _Andrew leans into Ben´s chest, enjoying the warmth and the other´s smell. He just loves that Deo Ben uses. It makes him all warm and fuzzy feeling. So does the kisses and Ben´s words. "You sure about the consequences?" he asks silently. "You´re such a big star now.... it can mean a real big ..break." He throws the cig away and turns around snuggling into Ben´s arm. "I love you."_  
  
    Ben hugs Andrew tight, and breathes in - enjoys the moment. Andrew in his arms, his mum accepting it, yes he was pretty satisfied with the happenings now. Of course the whole thing would win a lot of speed with the pictures of him and Andrew at the airport. If they wouldn't tell it was just a matter of time until someone would discover them on a way to a restaurant or on their way to Lucy. He looks down because he could feel Andrews gaze on him, he was still waiting for a reaction to the things he former said. "I'm aware it would mean that some things change, but I'm more than willing to accept this as necessary. I will visit my agency tomorrow to talk to them about it, they'd call me anyway. And I think most of the people would accept our relationship. And when it comes to fans.. You know the Cumberbitches have got my back. They won't let me down or anything bad happen to me" He smiles broadly, he really loves his fans. As already mentioned. "No worries on my side then, what about yours?"  
  
 _"Oh I bet the Johnlock fans will hate me,". Andrew smiles faintly, snuggling more into Ben. He slips his hands around Ben's waist and under the Shirt so he could feel his warm skin. "My fanbase is by far not as big as yours, so...I dunno." He shrugs. "They know I'm gay and accept it. Guess a change of partner won't be much of a scandal. Well, a bit maybe.. Especially if it's you." He nuzzles Ben's neck. "So, when will we tell the world and how?"_  
  
    Ben leans into Andrews touch, growling low while he moves closer.. He had waited long enough, really missed him and, now that his mom knows his family would know in a good hour (a rough guess). He could relax now, there will be loads of stuff to do tomorrow and he feels the need to touch Andrew so strong that he can't resist but kiss him with a breathtaking strength. His tongue licks over Andrews lower bottom lip and slips into his mouth, dancing with Andews tongue and tasting the other, he moans softly and pleased before he drew back, collecting his thoughts again and continues the serious talk "We can't wait too long. I guess if the agency won't say otherwise - and they usually keep out of my personal affairs - it would be wise to make it public tomorrow. By showing up together on a popular place or meeting someone together. Any suggestions on your side?"  
  
 _Andrew kisses him back, clinging into the taller man and pulling them close. He feels so much in need of physical contact now it almost hurts to break the kiss but he also needs this to be talked over. "To be honest...I'm totally scared. It was already such a hard test to bring Steven along for the BaftA ceremony but actually really coming out with you ...it scares me a bit. Being all...public." He takes a deep breath to calm himself down a bit. "I can only think of either Mark and Ian or Martin and Amanda...."_  
  
    "You've named wonderful examples of how to do deal with the matter the right way. Or is there anything you like to complain about when it comes to their relationship or dealing with their fans or their jobs?" Ben keeps his fingers clasped with Andrews but moves back a bit to leave some space between them.. He'd might not be able to stop if Andrew would kiss him that seductively again. "Look, you're doing fine. And we mustn't tell them everything. They just need to know some facts. But I suggest we don't tell them about Lucy. Not now."  
  
 _"Yeah but Mark doesn't have a whole planet of fangirls yearning after him." Andrew smiles and nibbles a bit on Ben's neck. "No. I don't want them to know about Lucy just yet. Plus I need to talk to Gillian about that first." He runs his hands through Ben's hair, still black and curly from filming Sherlock. "And now....can we please make love? Slowly? I want to feel you and I want you to hold me."_  
  
    "It's not a planet! I'm not George fucking Clooney... and the fame will fade, you know that as well as I do. We'll have our peaceful and boring time someday." Ben smiles at Andrews impatience, but he could totally understand him, he doesn't want to wait any longer either. He starts to kiss Andrew again, sparing them the talk for now. Andrews soft lips and his sweet breath, his clever hands, the tender touch.. yes that was important right now, that was what he needs, urgently.  
  
   _"Yeah...sure..."Andrew chuckles. "You're a lot younger and sexier than Mr Clooney. And not that grey - yet." He strokes some more strands of Ben's hair. He smiles into the kiss, licking over Benedict's lips, sucking on them slightly. His hands still hold on the Ben's back, stroking the naked skin, heating up from their kisses. After a while the breaks the soft kisses and takes Ben's hands into his. "Bed? Couch? Kitchentable?" He smirks._


	24. Slow Love

  
  
    Ben lets Andrew led him to him inside and closes the door behind them and pulls him back against himself "And what if...I don't want to wait? It's such a long way to get there, so little willpower.." He roams his hands over Andrews body while he whispers those words into his ears. For his taste, Andrew was wearing far too many clothes so he slips one hand under his shirt and pulling it up, the other hand starts to unfasten his belt.  
  
 _Andrew willingly gets rid of his shirt but stops Ben's hand on his belt. "Slowly. We said slowly. And I think the floor is way too hard, we're not twenty anymore." He places a kiss on Ben's cheek and drags him towards the bedroom. There he helps Ben to get rid of his Shirt as well. He gently pushes him on the bed and climbs on top of him, his handy running over the smooth skin of the other._  
  
    He likes Andrew sitting on top of him a lot and he holds him in place with one hand on his hip, the other wrapped around his neck to pull him down. He kisses Andrew again, slowly, softly now. He could feel a bright tingling running down his spine, floating his chest. It's a sensation what this man is doing to him. Just from their kissing he was all heated up and his erection grows already. "I love you" he means it. Stomach-turning, heart melting and mind blowing love. It was all there in his loving gaze, his touches, the kisses. "I love you" he repeats.  
  
 _Andrew leans in, chest to chest, snuggling into him. He feels Ben's erection slowly pressing against his hip but he ignores it. Not now. Not yet. His kisses are spread feathery over Ben's neck, his collarbone and chest. He licks the other's lips, suckles on his lips and kisses him over and over. Benedict's words send a feeling down his spine he has not felt for a long time. He bites his lip to keep from getting teary eyed and nods, "I love you too..."_  
  
    The smile that he shows Andrew now comes straight from his heart "I know" he closes the distance between their lips again and kisses him, over and over. His skin was burning where Andrews lips had touched him. His hands are stroking over Andrews back, caressing it softly and he kisses the corners of Andrews eyes. It feels like he was drowning in feelings.  
  
 _Andrew smiles and doesn't know if he should just laugh or cry. He chooses laughing and kisses Benedict back, closing his eyes when Ben kisses his tears away. "I don't want us to ...be apart. Not physically nor ...well, work will pull us apart but still." His hands roam over Benedict's chest and playfully tug on a nipple._  
  
    Basically the whole situation was a bit unbelievable for him, it was only a month that they started to see each other regularly, or better to say, that Andrew stays at his place. The first kiss.. he smiles into the kiss. So little time, and yet he doesn't want to miss a single moment, not one minute of their togetherness. His breath hitches when Andrew rolls his nipple and he pulls him closer, kissing his neck and nibbles on it, leaving a red mark there. "Well, it's work. I suggest that we try to spend as much time as possible together... Not during our work time, obviously."  
  
    _Andrew wraps his arms around Ben and snuggles into him, just wanting to be near him. "Yeah, well we can try. When do you leave for Toronto btw?" His fingers leisurely play with Ben's nipples some more and finally he leans over to work them with his mouth, getting some more action into the play._  
  
    That tease. Ben inhales hear-able and when he speaks his voice was full of desire "They asked me to be there a day earlier, I'll take a flight next Wednesday" He moans and runs a hand through Andrews hair again. he would never get tired of caressing his lover and he loves every single cell of his body. His eyes roll back into his head when Andrew bites his nipple and his lips part for a silent sigh. His right hand was still busy with his hair, while his left hand strokes over Andrews back, he caresses Andrews slender chest with it and twitches a nipple himself, payback.  
  
 _Andrew licks and suckles on Ben's nipples, leaving them hard. He runs his hands through the black curls. “I'll miss them, Sherlock Holmes." He chuckles. He kisses Ben's neck. "I´ll follow that weekend I guess. Stag's premiere is on the 9th if I remember right." He purrs into Ben's ear at the caressing and wrings a bit at the twitch, a little moan leaving him. "You think we should wait until we're ...ah...back?"_  
  
    "We should wait, even if it's just Canada, it would do us no good. Still.. " He shifts a bit, moving Andrew on him, the naked skin of his upper body rubs against Andrews and the sensation was overwhelming, he nearly forgot what he was about to say "Nngh.. we should watch out when we're there. Some reporters are clever and they might realize who you are. " He breathes the last words into Andrews ear "You marvelous, astonishing man." he kisses the soft skin behind Andrews ears and flicks his tongue out, running it down from there to Andrews throat where he lovingly bites down.  
  
 _Andrew laughs. "Well I do hope they recognize me. I am there to promote my movie, if I may remind you." He twirls Ben's nipple between a finger, leaving a red mark. He captures Ben's mouth in a kiss. "Can I ....take you tonight? Not really but just...go a bit further?"_  
  
    Ben shifty his legs a bit for Andrew, so he could sit between them and returns the kiss in a demanding way. He pulls him close again and his hands slips under the waistband of Andrews pants. Drawing little circles with his fingertips he bites on Andrews lower lip "I won't stop you, I'm yours, go as far as you want." he opens the belt of Andrews pants and smiles, a vicious encouraging smile.  
  
 _Andrew lays down, rubbing his clothed crotch against the other's. He keeps kissing him, stroking over Ben's bare chest. After a moment he sits up and leaves the bed, slowly undressing himself fully, his gaze never leaving Ben's. He is half hard already when he crawls back on the bed and starts to undress Ben as well. The he returns to his position between Ben's legs, now their naked erections rubbing against each other with every move._  
  
    He could only lean back and enjoy the show, it was sinful how Andre gets rid of his clothes slowly and so.. sexy! He could hardly suppress a moan when Andrew undressed his shorts and exposes his growing erection. Again, his thoughts wander off to their first time (the conscious one) and his eyes went dreamy. He still loves sex with Andrew and it always surprises him how hard his orgasm was at anytime with him. when Andrew climbs back onto the bed and grinds their erections together he releases a shuddering moan and moves his hips up to meet Andrews there.  
  
 _Placing feathery kisses all over Ben's cheeks, collarbone and neck Andrew works his way down over his chest, sliding down until he reached his navel. He dipped his tongue in and shifted a bit, freeing Ben's erection from the friction of his own. Only then he moved deeper, licking and kissing at the base of Benedict's erection, his fingers lingering over the skin, almost too soft to make any contact._  
  
    "Nngg... Annndrew" Ben shifts to have a better view on Andrews actions, scratching Andrews neck with his nails, just a bit, not leaving marks there. To be honest with himself, he has never received a better blow job before and Andrews lips are so soft and his tongue so flexible. He pants very hard, his erection was fully grown right now. Biting on his lower lip he locks his eyes with Andrew, whose pupils are dilated what makes them nearly black. Bens hand finds Andrews hairs again and caressed him there, takes a short grip at it.. With Andrew teasing him that way he won't last long. His head falls back against the mattress "Stop... teasing - please do it." his voice was full of need and lust, he really needs Andrew. Close.  
  
 _Andrew purrs around the shaft, giving him one, two strong, vibrant sucks before he lets go. Looking into Ben's eyes he curls his face into the palm of Ben's hand. "Do you trust me?" Without waiting for an answer he turns Ben around, pulling him up by the hips, so his butt was exposed to Andrew now while his shoulders were pressed into the pillows._  
  
    He was about to answer when Andrew turns him and he was surprised by the sudden turn and he feels more than a bit exposed, but he trusts Andrew fully so he tries to relax against his screaming nerves. Andrew would know what to do, he loves him completely. He sighs and closes his eyes "I trust you, I love you." He felt a bit idle in this position but that would change.  
  
 _Andrew runs his hands over Ben's back to calm him down a bit. The he widens the strokes and runs his hands over the butt, slightly spreading the buttocks, massaging him. Then he leans in, placing soft kisses on the skin. Finally he spreads Ben open again, leaning in and runs his tongue over his hole,_  
  
    His breathing stops when he could feel Andrews tongue roaming over his hole and he holds it until he really needs air and he presses his body into the mattress as deep as possible. He has never felt anything comparable to this feeling, doesn't feel bad,really. He hisses and squints his eyes together. Being on Andrews full mercy makes his erection stay stiffen and his body sing for him. He grabs the sheets with both hands to hold his body from moving.  
  
 _Andrew concentrates on his actions, rimming Ben slowly, sensually, slipping his tongue in an inch when he feels Ben's relaxed and wet enough. For some more feelings he reaches around with one hand and warps his fingers firmly around Ben's erection, stroking him with strong moves._  
  
    "Ohh..god Andrew-" He could nearly feel his orgasm building so he stops Andrew from stroking him, he doesn't want to end this so soon, he wants Andrew, he really does, and he wants to give him what he wants, he deserves this. "Please...I can't wait any longer." He whispers through harsh pants and spreads his legs wider.  
  
 _Andrew smiles and turns him around, nearly throwing Ben back into the mattress. He spreads his legs and runs a hand over Ben's face, a finger finding his way into the other's mouth to moisten it up. He turns and runs that finger over Ben's hole, carefully pushing it in while engulfing Ben's cock with his mouth at the same time_  
  
    His head thrown in his neck and his hands still pulling on the sheets he screams out when Andrew sucks him again. He could barely feel the finger, the heavy and happy feeling spreads from his chest to his stomach but he bites his lower lip until he could taste blood, not yet, patience. A lonely sob leaves his mouth, and a tear leaves his eyes. Dear god, this was far beyond the things he could bear.  
  
 _Andrew smiled and licked around the tip, sucking on the precum while wriggling his finger a bit until he found the spot he was looking for. With a smirk on his lips he rubs against it_  
  
    Ben bows his back and screams out when his orgasm hits him with a power he was not used to. He could nearly see stars when he opens his eyes, he can't remember that he had laid his hands in Andrews neck but he could feel them holding Andrew close and he breathes in, trying to gain some control. "Impossible..." he mutters when he feels his body calm down a bit again  
  
 _A few more strokes, some more rubbing over that magic spot and Ben melts into the sheets. Andrew smiles and kisses him through the aftermath, snuggling against him. "Not impossible," he whispers, gently playing with Ben's sweaty curls. "It's just the beginning."_


End file.
